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Lung cancer deluxe speedrun any%
I sure hope I’m not going to hell for laughing at this.
You’re already here
Since 2019
“We in hell already our dumbasses not knowing”
Oh, fun! It was blue asbestos, too. They couldn’t have made it any more carcinogenic if they tried.
Source: https://www.asbestos.com/products/cigarette-filters/
Credit to @partial_accumen@lemmy.world for finding the source.
Why settle for regular cancer if you can have TURBO cancer?
I want my tumors to get tumors!
the secret was here the whole time, use cancer to cure the cancer! Finally, I can be proud of my astrology sign!
Turbo is clearly better, no?
“Ok, so…I guess now we need to dip them in arsenic to prevent bacterial infection. And we could also irradiate them to make sure the viruses are all dead!”
“Yeah, man. We’ll have the healthiest cigarettes on the market!”
And we could also irradiate them
It will be expensive, but make sure you find a neutron source. Don’t settle for the stuff that basically everybody uses for irradiating things.
We don’t want no pansy electron beam irradiators! Full ompf ionozation please.
Irradiating won’t harm the smoker though. You need to put a radiation source in the cigarette to do harm.
That’s what neutron radiation does…
Thankfully for Hagdos, he’s not working around neutron irradiators or that’d be a gruesome lesson.
Throw some lead based paint on the box and baby, you got a stew goin’
Carcinoma with a side of mesothelioma
Just fuck my shit up
Just fuck my lungs up
Here’s some cancer to help protect you from all the cancer.
The new cancer kills the old cancer
And it kills Jack.
C(ancer)++
jesus, blue asbestos too the literal worst of them…
Removed by mod
It’s an addictive drug. Like Dennis Leary said, you could name them Death and make the packaging black with a skull and crossbones and people would buy two at a time.
Is that why they are marketing water like this now?
I KNEW it was fishy. I’m going to stick to soda, vodka and beer instead, thank you very much.
That’s water for people who want to avoid alcohol in a crowd and don’t want rando douchebags commenting on drinking water. That water saves a lot of headache for the user in the right circumstances and I will never fault it for that.
I have also bought one of these with a beer cuz it’s in a can and survives my walk through the crowd and it’s not a plastic bottle.
Fair enough.
I feel like liquid death is so widely known now that the initial idea for it didn’t work anymore. Still, I’m a hydrohomie so I’m so good peeps driving it but I’d personally rather just get some tap water with a tiny bit of cordial in it at a gig or something
I really don’t know how this brand is thriving. I can’t tell if people are buying it ironically or buying it because they think it’s edgy
It’s often the only water I see available at concerts these days. I mean it’s fine, it tastes like water, and the can is more recyclable than plastic bottles.
They pay live nation a fortune to be the exclusive water. Love nation then charges $5+ a can
They do get immediately recycled though. At least in the venue I worked at
God I fucking hate it when I buy a can of water and it immediately turns into something else. Why did they sell me an instant recyclable can? I still need it to be a can, at least for a little bit
That’s true, not bashing the idea of water in a can, just makes me laugh that the brand is like “our product goes so hard” when it’s just water in a can. I guess product design can make all the difference. I would be more likely to buy it if it was like no name https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_Name_(brand) and was just SPRING WATER on a can
It’s a good option to have in settings where you don’t want to drink but might get shit for not drinking.
Jeez, I’d rather just not be in such a toxic crowd.
Can survives the walk back through the crowd better IMO
Cool can
Naw for alcoholics
that packaging is fucking sick, god damn
In fact, thats how people buy cigarettes in every country that isnt the US. And they still keep smoking.
We kinda did this in the UK. All generic black packaging is with knarly images.
Removed by mod
"you could put them in a black pack, with a skull and cross bones, called Tumors! And people would be lining up around the block going, “these things look great, I bet you get a tumor as soon as you light up!”
Or something like that.
The really addictive part isn’t even the nicotine though, it’s the several MAOI antidepressant compounds that are created when it gets burnt.
It’s the nicotine.
Corporations being corporations.
Holy shit, how long would one live without lung cancer smoking these? Directly inhaling fibers which never will leave your lung again. Did anyone smoke these for the years they existed and lived without lung cancer?
From the asbestos.com link someone else posted:
Asbestos exposure is the primary cause of pleural mesothelioma, a rare and aggressive cancer, but inhaling asbestos also multiplies a smoker’s risk of developing lung cancer fiftyfold or greater.
The carcinogenic risk of asbestos exposure and cigarette smoking is exponentially higher than the risk of each exposure added. This is known as the synergistic effect of asbestos exposure and smoking.
I remember the “micronite” filter in their advertisements. I had no idea it was made out of freaking asbestos.
It’s accurate, I checked it myself: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/kent-cigarettes-asbestos-filters/
That’s-a one spicy devil stick!
You like-a deh filter, eh?
I miss r/asbestosremovalmemes. It wasn’t a big enough community to try to replicate here on Lemmy. Asbestos memes are so goddamn funny to me.
What’s the point of trying to filter the smoke anyway. The smoke is the part that gives you the feeling. If you put a full air filter on the front end of a cigarette and took a clean breath of air why the fuck would you buy cigarettes. I get a light filter makes it less harsh but jeez
The filter is there to catch big stuff that’ll make you gag. The microscopic ash particles are what you want to inhale, not the 2mm wide chunks
Based. Just get some papers and roll that shit yourself, like a joint. Put a roach in there to keep that tobacco out of your mouth, good to go.
the nicotine gives you the feeling, not the smoke itself
What do you think the nicotine rides on to get to your lungs?
Chariots pulled by air sprites
It rides on bad ideas
Technically correct.
I’m sure it’s hilarious but unfortunately the link doesn’t load for me.
Bah!
I appreciate your service.
