you dip the chicken nuggets in whiskey and then roll them in cocaine for a nice speedy schnitzel
Where are the dates?
Probably wondering why their date is taking a picture of the charcuterie board.
The straight whole coffee beans. 🤣
Ngl I’ve munched coffee beans before. There’s chocolate covered whole coffee beans, so why not eat them without the chocolate too?
Because without the chocolate, it’s like eating slightly burnt coffee flavoured sand. I eat them all the time because I have a fucking problem, but I don’t enjoy it.
Is there a name for this problem? I’m imagining you sitting with a bowl of beans looking miserable, shaking your head and muttering, “damn beans”
They’re alright actually
What order is this meant to be in?
To start off, put the gummi worms in a shaker, shake, collect the sour dust, snort.
Next, add the whiskey to the shaker, set aside
Dunk the bread in the McNuggies sauce, sprinkle on cocaine to taste.
Add weed, thin crackers and coffee beans to grinder, grind thoroughly. Take the brie and your ground up spices, work them into each other as if you were making meatballs.
Eat this raw.
Ok, now vomit into the condoms.
Now that the appetizer is done with, grab handfulls of the other cheeses, salami, prosciutto and McNuggies, and just stuff it into your face as if you were eating popcorn.
Now that you’ve been thoroughly fucked by this culinary experience, finish it off with the drink you set aside earlier, which should hopefully be a lovely semi congealed glass of gummi whiskey.
Awful, would laugh at you on a date. Better than most.
Hey, I’ll take it haha!
Unfortunately my default joke state is basically dad jokes and puns, but my life has been so utterly absurd that I can basically just reference some insane nonsense that’s happened to me in the past somewhat indirectly, and most people just think I’m creatively making a joke.
In seriousness, I have found that more conventional charcuterie boards are a pretty cost effective, while also decently fancy first kind of at someone’s place date, if presented well.
I’ve done this multiple times and it has worked every time, and almost every time I’ll be told this is extremely adorable and no one has ever done this for them…
…Then I find out, a year or two or three into the relationship, oh god, this person I love is extremely abusive, takes me for granted, and is astoundingly irresponsible.
So I guess just hand me both of those whiskeys, neat, please.
Western.
Why do u need 3?
Good to have backup in case you get precum on the outside or for when you want to switch between penetration and other stuff (if youre unsure about STDs it’s better to use one for oral too though)
I always bring at least 4. Two for them to top, two for me to top, should we hit it off and have the time.
Heh, he doesn’t know about the 3
seashellscondoms.What about the famed 4th hole
It’s a long night…