I was always called by the “shortened, nickname” version of my actual first name, in Catholic school, starting in 1975. Plenty of other kids where, too: Richard, Rich; Robert, Bob; Jennifer, Jenny; Elizabeth, Beth. There is no problem referring to someone with their preferred name.

I will confirm that it requires real conscious effort to use someone’s preferred pronouns, when you have been referring to them with different pronouns all their lives, as well as having the deep inertia of the English language set like concrete in your brain – especially when they themselves are navigating the minefield of gender identity as a teenager right along with you. I do tend to rankle a bit at “constructed” pronouns (think “xe”), because I feel that insisting that everyone immediately use placeholder words that have not firmly made their way into the lexicon is asking a bit too much. I will happily use the singular they/them; that’s something which has been in common usage that way for a very long time, and is not gender specific.

Maybe something like “xe” will end up as common usage, and I’m fine with that, too. Being old, it would certainly take me more time and effort to adopt that than younger people would have to expend, and I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.