We’re both pan, so we both just salivate

Monogamy? Suck it up. Focus on the good things in your life.

Non monogamy? See if they’re also open, and ask them out.

we’re gay and we turn it into a discussion on the differences in our tastes

I point them out, but as I have said before - there is no person in the world good looking enough that I would want them based only on looks, looks to me are a straight yes/no binary, there is no + for looking better than “yes”. Everything else matters more, as long as you are in the “yes” category. So I’m not really attracted based just on looks.

If I know the person I might flirt but not do anything, just sort of use that feeling to amplify what I get at home - technically I do have some latitude as long as I ask husband but haven’t exercised that in years, am satisfied and dealt with some HPV that I feel lucky cleared at my age, and all the experienced guys my age would have some variety of that, and it’s just so transmissible. So that ties my hands, and not in the good way.

This probably sounds like some sort of line, but I really don’t notice other people

I can see someone and recognise that they’re beautiful, or even sexy, but I don’t find them attractive

My woman is the most beautiful in the world, and I just don’t have any interest in anyone else. I really don’t notice them

Well, I’m ethically non-monogamous so if it’s mutual I just act on it.