Jordanlund is a big ol bitch.

I am literally telling you generalizations aren’t helpful. I don’t care about your age.

While the young people of this generation are generally useless when it comes to something more complicated than microsoft word

Generalizations and eager bootlicking of generational propaganda isn’t helpful at all.

I cannot understand why anyone would ever buy anything Samsung makes.

I saw it in a st louis taco bell recently.

Getting them does not make you a dirty person.

Spreading them once you know and not communicating to people you see makes you a dirty person.

Call the police and make a noise complaint every single morning. Let the owners know you’re doing the same. Give the police the owners contact info.

I personally aerosolize psychedelic drugs over Washington D.C. This melts the rotting meat suits off the mantids and lizards.

Wait till you see the planet alignment in 2037.

Given the age demographic on lemmy, there is a non-zero chance one of us will be in a shady acres nursing home with advanced dementia ranting about loss and scrawling strange symbols with mashed potatoes.

lunch pause

car brakes automatically if I’m distracted

These two lines paint a very sad picture.

The ass/taint/balls combo get a good patting down, then if I have time I’ll stand over a box fan for the ultimate dry.

The hogs are getting restless. Have you fed them today?

F L O O R T I M E. Not sure if that clears anything up.

You guys I’m serious 99.999)99)999999998% uptime!

Please sign this new TOS/EULA.

You can’t just edge me with inception level bait. Tell me what was wrong with the ice cream so I can get to sleep.

Oh no! That possum is actually three raccoons in a trench coat!

They should try migrating to the cloud.

OK, I got some paperwork about my application and it has an appointment already set. Seems like a serious opportunity.

Localization dependent regex for this should be possible