I can’t stop myself from thinking about the people who have helped me in the past who I have since allowed to grow distant, and with whom I’ve failed to communicate during my tough times (and since, tbh). I don’t have (m)any memories of doing actively cruel things, but my brain won’t let these ones go, and always brings them to mind in the moments where it’s obvious I can do nothing about it. Why?
Guilt is why. People help people, then people grow apart, it’s sounds fairly normal. You could argue that they failed to communicate with you when you were going through your tough times but then ask yourself if you’ve suspected others of going through the same and if you’ve sufficiently reached out to them. You’re memories connect you to the past so it’s natural you’re brain will cycle over them and if you don’t have a large friends group it’s likely you’re need for human connection will bring you back frequently. Point is you don’t need to go back to ease your guilt, you can help others in the same way as the people who helped you. Build new connections, move forward and if the feeling stays as strong you will have your answer.
Thank you. The hardest part are the people who reached out a few times who I neglected, making it feel much more one-sided. But hopefully looking and paying it forward will help with how I think about the past. That’s a great point and idea.
![Not a great idea [Mr Lovenstein]](https://startrek.website/pictrs/image/2c536d90-28f9-41ca-b3f2-1ff3231c3d9f.png){kind=link}
I can’t stop myself from thinking about the people who have helped me in the past who I have since allowed to grow distant, and with whom I’ve failed to communicate during my tough times (and since, tbh). I don’t have (m)any memories of doing actively cruel things, but my brain won’t let these ones go, and always brings them to mind in the moments where it’s obvious I can do nothing about it. Why?
Guilt is why. People help people, then people grow apart, it’s sounds fairly normal. You could argue that they failed to communicate with you when you were going through your tough times but then ask yourself if you’ve suspected others of going through the same and if you’ve sufficiently reached out to them. You’re memories connect you to the past so it’s natural you’re brain will cycle over them and if you don’t have a large friends group it’s likely you’re need for human connection will bring you back frequently. Point is you don’t need to go back to ease your guilt, you can help others in the same way as the people who helped you. Build new connections, move forward and if the feeling stays as strong you will have your answer.
Thank you. The hardest part are the people who reached out a few times who I neglected, making it feel much more one-sided. But hopefully looking and paying it forward will help with how I think about the past. That’s a great point and idea.
I am TERRIBLE at keeping in touch for sure.