Why do people hate on Java so much, I think it’s a great language.
Do you use Java at work?
Fuck no, I want to stay sane.
I work with Java. And I’m definitely ‘rose tinted glasses’ because I also learned to code in Java. But I’m the opposite.
Do you use Java at home?
Fuck no, I want to stay sane.
To me, Java feels nice and homely. Like coming home to your family over Christmas. Of course your parents aren’t quite with the times any more and a bit racist, which always makes for a nice discussion with your sister’s Hispanic husband. And there’s always uncle bob, who gets way too drunk and starts hitting on your wife. Your sister usually tries to get you to invest in her latest MLM scheme and the food tastes like seasoned cardboard. But it’s always warm and welcoming. Luckily it’s only for the holidays.
A lot of people misapply OOP principles, causing them to come up with stuff like
ThingFactoryFactory
, or the things Enterprise FizzBuzz parodies.
Holy shit! Can that be any more drawn out and boring?
It’s java. Extremely drawn out method names is it’s calling card.
One might even say it’s an ExtremelyDrawnOutMethodNamesFactoryImpl
… BeanAbstractBeanFactory
And slow startup times.
I think it was amusing. A relic of a simpler time
It was actually a pretty good Bond parody too!
If you are or ever become a mother, you’ll be smegma
Almost certainly
I use a Java backend with a React frontend at work. It works fine with us and it’s not going anywhere anytime soon.
“Can you program in Java?”
“Yes, if you pay for the plane ticket.”
Wonder if any of this worked nearly as trouble free as they implied it would.
Java cards certainly did.
I first learned about Java in the late 90s and it sounded fantastic. “Write once, run anywhere!” Great!
After I got past “Hello world!” and other simple text output tutorials, things took a turn for the worse. It seemed like if you wanted to do just about anything beyond producing text output with compile-time data (e.g. graphics, sound, file access), you needed to figure out what platform and which edition/version of Java your program was being run on, so you could import the right libraries and call the right functions with the right parameters. I guess that technically this was still “write once, run anywhere”.
After that, I learned just enough Java to squeak past a university project that required it, then promptly forgot all of it.
I feel like Sun was trying to hit multiple moving targets at the same time, and failing to land a solid hit on any of them. They were laser-focused on portable binaries, but without standardized storage or multimedia APIs at a time when even low-powered devices were starting to come with those capabilities. I presume that things are better now, but I’ve never been tempted to have another look. Even just trying to get my machines set up to run other people’s Java programs has been enough to keep me away.
What I noticed right away was: It’s the ugliest hello world ever. It’s the slowest hello world ever. (For a long time it was also the record size hello world at something like 64MB, but that’s later and on a compiler.) And it doesn’t actually run on any platform except one: jre. And most binaries you find only run on one version of that one brand of jre.
Still, not the worst thing for writing web services in in late 90s. Doesn’t matter how slow it starts or how much space it takes. Responding to requests, being familiar to new programmers and living in a sandbox was enough.