There’re better words to use in any situation.

To make the point more clear. As much as people tend to use it in the way they do for words such as ‘like’.

I mean people will just say f you, instead of thinking of a witty insult or express an emotion with more expression.

For example, say you want to express that a person is fat, which one is a more cutting way to tell someone they’re fat:

  1. “You’re a fat-f**k.”

  2. “Don’t bother trying to stand up. I know you haven’t done that in years.”

One more thing, As much as there is a time and place you don’t curse, it’s not a matter of “appropriateness” to me; what matters more is the impact of what’s said. I hope my example showcases that.

One last thing, - cause I just starting to realise this matter more to people than I thought it would (nothing wrong with that of course) - cursing doesn’t necessarily subtract from a remark as if it’s a negative number in a math problem, it’s just redundant for speaking (more often than not).

Southsamurai©sh.itjust.works gives a good example of cursing is bland as apposed to just using your brain.

Someone saying “I’m tired of this fucking rain” is more boring than someone saying “I really wish thor would give us a warning before bukkakeing the world”.

I just realise this will work as a post in a unpopular opinion space if that exist, lol.

  • Mr_No_Swearing@lemmy.zipOPEnglish
    0·
    4 days ago

    For the first point, I fail to see how cursing dosen’t show your anger, if it’s going to be used to blow off steam. People have curse absent-mindedly when angry, I’d know, I’ve done it before. What good is this emotional intelligence if it’s going to give you the same results as if a person without it when in conversation?

    The thinking of cursing being the method to use (with the understanding that we’re thinking of affective methods - not just punch someone in the face) doesn’t sit right. I understand getting angry (we all been there), however, you’ll be surprise in the power of taking a couple seconds to think it through.

    When you think you have to say the thing that pops into your head right away, it ends up being ineffctive for commucation & won’t let others see the emotional intelligence that you’ve.

    I know this seems to be meme, but meditation & being mindful of your surroundings has help me “let out steam.” I also work on improving myself, when you try to remove curse words, you can find where you feel you need to say it and thus work on methods to help with that. When I think of emotional intelligence, I think of understanding the emotions you’ve & not letting them control your actions (think stoiticism).

    For the second point, this only works when you can leave the situation and not have to worry about the consequences; it’s not going to work with cops, it’s also not going to work well for family (I’d know, having my christain grandma say f-you to me isn’t fun); I, in fact, find it hard to think of consequence-free moments for it.

    For the third point, I see that depending on context, it’ll work, then it should work for wit, no? I fail to find the difference between wit and swearing for communication outside of it being easier to curse. If the point is cursing is faster & easier, then you’ve a point, but I’m thinking you meant something else or something more. Even for expressing anger, I find the clam looking anger to be more emotionally intelligent than throwing out a curse word that even a child can do when having a meltdown.

    • eupraxia@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
      0·
      3 days ago

      Ultimately, we’re discussing two different styles of communication that I don’t see as any better or worse than each other - everyone finds what works for them in their circumstances and environment and your style probably works great for yours!

      There’s a fair bit of hostility and harassment I encounter in public for various reasons, and I also have some inherent difficulty processing speech and verbalizing. As a result, I take a pretty blunt approach to communication - one in which I do not mind showing that I’m angry, because that is a necessary thing to be sometimes.

      I practice mindfulness a lot and do not generally feel required to say the first thing that comes to mind. But if a drunk asshole is following me home, I’m not looking to outwit em. I’m looking to stay focused on my safety while letting em know that I see em and I’m probably more trouble than they’re looking for.

      In serious conversation with people I care about, I do swear, but it’s because phrases like “I’m so fucking sorry that happened to you” come naturally to me and are effective. The emphasis that a little bit of swearing can add in moments like that is pretty useful.

      This all doesn’t have to be your thing, like I said this is all down to personal preference - but it would be a mistake to assume that people who swear aren’t communicating as meaningfully. It’s just another tool that we have at our disposal.