Powerful and saddening. It does feel like, as an artist, everything revolves around how good others think you are. I try to go around it by only performing others people’s work, but also then, you’re dependent on those people wanting to work with you or not. Still dependent. Always dependent, as an artist, which is so so heavy.
The problem is though, how do you even call yourself an artist? What’s art, and what’s a doodle? Is it a degree? X amount of sales? Doing it under employment? So not indie? X hours of effort per work? X listeners on Spotify? Talent? Skill? How does one judge that? What criteria? How could one apply such criteria to oneself when we are so biased? When is someone a kid just putting blocks together in FL studio, and when is someone a musician? A composer? An artiste? Can I call myself an artist if my friends swear my songs are good? Am I going to be discovered after my death as a secret genius, or am I just churning out cacophanies that make sense to no one but myself, making me little more than a living argument that perhaps tools should be reserved for those who know how to use them, an ape armed with a musical shotgun?
Thinking about all this stuff just makes my silly empty head spin. I’m only a hobbyist, but I know an actual published playwright, theatre manager and hobbyist game dev who I greatly respect and admire as an artist and person once said “oh I’m not an artist though” as she was explaining game dev to me - a CS major, and it just obliterated something deep in my soul. girl, what then who even is.
Always Sunny gave a comforting answer in an episode once, it’s when the right people say it is art, then it’s art. As nonsensical as this answer is, it’s at least an answer.
Powerful and saddening. It does feel like, as an artist, everything revolves around how good others think you are. I try to go around it by only performing others people’s work, but also then, you’re dependent on those people wanting to work with you or not. Still dependent. Always dependent, as an artist, which is so so heavy.
The problem is though, how do you even call yourself an artist? What’s art, and what’s a doodle? Is it a degree? X amount of sales? Doing it under employment? So not indie? X hours of effort per work? X listeners on Spotify? Talent? Skill? How does one judge that? What criteria? How could one apply such criteria to oneself when we are so biased? When is someone a kid just putting blocks together in FL studio, and when is someone a musician? A composer? An artiste? Can I call myself an artist if my friends swear my songs are good? Am I going to be discovered after my death as a secret genius, or am I just churning out cacophanies that make sense to no one but myself, making me little more than a living argument that perhaps tools should be reserved for those who know how to use them, an ape armed with a musical shotgun?
Thinking about all this stuff just makes my silly empty head spin. I’m only a hobbyist, but I know an actual published playwright, theatre manager and hobbyist game dev who I greatly respect and admire as an artist and person once said “oh I’m not an artist though” as she was explaining game dev to me - a CS major, and it just obliterated something deep in my soul. girl, what then who even is.
Always Sunny gave a comforting answer in an episode once, it’s when the right people say it is art, then it’s art. As nonsensical as this answer is, it’s at least an answer.