jointhefediverse.net seems to be a commonly linked resource for directing people to join the Fediverse.
Curiously, it does not list Lemmy under the list of Reddit alternatives. Their GitHub README explains why.
Previous relevant discussion: https://lemmy.ml/post/78808
That feels like complaints about lemmy.ml specifically more than Lemmy as a software. There’s a few instances that defederate lemmy.ml out there.
it’s complaints about the developer (which are valid) who also runs lemmy.ml.