This isn’t even my final formal.

I assume the opossum was busy giving a press conference somewhere on behalf of the group.

GOOD.

Xenomuppet

Zuckerlimburger.

That was wonderful.

“I am inventing electricity…and you look like an ASSHOLE.”

squints hard

Sean Mall?

Which Sean got his own mall? Or is it a mall specifically for Seans? As a non-Sean (cool rhyme, right?) am I forbidden from Sean Mall? Are Shawns allowed in?

My poor vision creates nothing but inquiries.

I instinctively read that in Homestar Runner’s voice.

This may be the saddest a comment has ever made me.

The caption backfired and I’m now recalling heartbreaking Futurama memories.

Dude, c’mon guys…

Can we not immediately sexually objectify any woman who happens to appear in an online photograph or video?

I thought we left that kind of gross, adolescent shit back on Reddit.

Siiiiigh…yeah…

I like to think that the glasses just materialize whenever a human fully achieves therapist mode.

This feels like a Mitch Hedberg joke.

SPAGETT!

(He spooked ya.)

Oh. Oh, man. I’m not the only one…

(#4)

Can anyone expand on this claim?

I did a search out of curiosity and couldn’t find a single link, page, or video on the religious rites of turtles.

“…I was saying Boo-eing.”

Fight you? For harnessing the courage necessary to throw aside the taboos of society and finally speak the culinary truth?

I’ll meet you on the battlefield, sure, but not as your enemy.