Yeah, we are a nation, but I can definitely see how we might look a bit dysfunctional from the outside.
First and foremost, remember that it is very rare for someone to write an article or post about things that are doing just fine. So you are mostly going to hear about disagreements or angry opponents or laws that are problematic. That kind of content gets more views.
I’ll also say that our 2 party system is practically designed to cause division and arguments. And it is always at its worst during presidential election years. But at the average citizen level, most of us are just going about our lives with no pent up malice for those who don’t see the world the same as us. We definitely have generalizations in our head about people from other areas of the country, but with a few radical exceptions, the vast majority of Americans view ourselves as a nation. Even if we don’t agree on a lot of the details.
It sounds like you are super depressed right now, and I’m sad you’re going through that.
There are a lot of things out there that are worth living for, and some great experiences to be had. But I’ve had severe depression in the past myself… and I’ll be honest, no one could convince me in that moment that life was ever going to be a positive experience again. So I doubt I will be able to convince you right now.
What I do hope you’ll hear right now, is that your own assessment of life can’t be trusted at the moment. Depression is like a feedback loop. It makes us feel hopeless, and prevents us from believing better things are ever possible. I promise you, there is some way to get help. And your depression is going to tell you I’m wrong. Or that if you could find help, there wouldn’t be any thing they could actually do to help. Don’t trust your depression. It makes us lie to ourselves. There’s help to be had, and you’ll never know if it could help if you don’t actually try.
Don’t trust your self right now. Look for help. Tell professional people that you feel suicidal and trust them to help.