Tammo-Korsai

The line on the graph must go up, even if it’s for one second! Glory to the CEO! Praise the shareholders! My life for the corporation! Now give me that minute-by-minute profit projection!

We regularly review our pay to ensure we offer competitive wages and benefits.

Translation: We pay as little as we can get away with.

I imagine the player who started the trend by leaking the Challenger II armour profile is probably in prison, by now, or at least out of a job.

I think people are now leaking the documents for the sake of it.

Out of your seven motorcycles, which one is used for which purpose?

Task failed successfully.

Exactly. I sometimes grapple with an urge to slightly exaggerate my issues to make sure I get a fair assessment.

I love it when the DWP Aktion T4 question if I’m still autistic or not. Believe me, I wish I could stop being autistic and not have anxiety over very normal things and sudden changes. Even the initial application for PIP or DLA was a nightmare as an uncaring system was not convinced I was autistic despite all of the evidence provided by my GP. They very nearly ran me out of money when I got sanctioned without realising it, followed by a year of further paperwork battles as the DWP Aktion T4 continued to deliberately misinterpret everything.

Then there’s a lot of anti-welfare crap swirling around the internet, so I sometimes feel guilty about claiming anything even though I know it’s legitimate. People are salivating at the idea of the DWP having enforcement powers, checking where you go on holiday (even though a flight can cost less than a train ticket) and other intrusive measures.

Currently I’m at risk of losing my ESA since they decided to question my autism again and want to do a phone interview, which is exactly what I struggle with, so thank god there’s people who can support me with that call. Honestly, if I had to fight the DWP alone, I probably would have lost all of my benefits and offed myself by now. It’s tough enough even with my really good support network.

“Don’t make me nuke myself!”

“I kept throwing wave after wave of my men at the kill-bots until they reached their preset kill limit.”

• Zapp Brannigan

Hamas is commanded by stable geniuses.

Putin’s special military operation to expand NATO is going well.

Non-negotiable freedom and democracy intensifies

Won’t somebody please think of the CEO!? Spare a thought for the investment portfolio!

I fear that the UK might try to join this list not just out of authoritarianism, but out of a fear of technology they do not understand. Worse yet, the Conservative party once threw around the idea of banning encryption in its entirety and acted like WhatsApp is only used by criminals.