We can’t even do an express railway neither…

(in truth it took me a few baffled minutes to get the joke, though enjoyed the background painting whilst furrowing my brow)

Yeah, if the rest of the house weren’t so stagey I’d take the child’s room & rosettes at face value. It just feels like an attempt to sell an idea.

Spotted a second rocking horse, beyond the grey modular sofa which overlooks the steps down to the swimming pool.

Christmas stockings hung over the fireplace in the original hall. Pony club rosettes pinned above the window in the “child’s” bedroom.

More soulless than the unused boardroom of an SME based in a small industrial estate built in the late 1990s.

Spotlight hell, pseudo-idyllic Edwardian childhood signifiers, 20 shades of griege, an auditorium worth of chairs & sofas arrayed about the pool, bizarre proportions, including in the original house due to unnecessary removal of walls.

View of the distant trees from the glass extension in photos 12 & 13 marred by service station style landscaping in the near to mid-ground.

Aye, but let’s not reduce plant-based lives to a few leaves of bare iceberg lettuce with occasional cherry tomato.

Rejecting animal exploitation is glorious in itself, and (handful of very rare medical conditions excepting), requires no diminution in sustenance, deliciousness, sensuality & social aspects.

None of these images are lifted from ads or articles promoting steps toward an ever more ethical lifestyle, and if they were they’d be so unsustainable as to be counterproductive. They’re just pushing more capitalism via dodgy beauty standards of the ruling class (with hefty side helping of “you tried that juice fast that one time to get into that dress, you couldn’t possibly go vegan, here’s some nice dead bullock instead, and lashings of drugs & cosmetics tested on animals to mitigate the toll which eaten animal fats take on your body”)

Vegans are as prone to the ease of junky food as everyone else, but let’s not pretend that we’re on undressed fucking lettuce & about it. Though I suppose I too would be cackling mirthlessly about it if I were, whether in a hide-the-pain-Harold way, or more likely, paradoxical euphoria from lack of nutrients & dopamine in the brain.

Yes, but now consider the state of the ladies in the OP who have tomatoes.

Insanity lies beyond the crisis

(actually love tomatoes, but may be faintly deranged also)

Because though uPVC windows lack the myriad advantages of wood or stone frames, sometimes it is better for the ongoing fabric of a building to just get it weatherproof until someone comes along who can afford to put in more suitable replacements.

Then white uPVC frames are much cheaper than coloured versions.

Can’t speak for the baby blue.

As someone who ADORES bare chipboard, and glazed brick tiles, and whose favourite colour is green… I ought to love this, but jfc it is nightmarishly bad.

Who knew you’d find this level of hyper-chintz bordello in Acton?

Am impressed & not for the first time want to become a documentary maker just as an in to get to hang out with people I never knowingly encounter & to tell their story.

Even the agent is describing it as just a footprint.

Down with this milquetoast toleration of the intolerant!

Lights too bright?

Damn, had mistaken that for some bizarre moulded effect, inspired by seashells.

But it is just a peach beach towel with a ridged weave.

So disappointed.

Hey now, that pastely plush thing could be very comforting & then you can keep us abreast of your own decor journey.

Because if it seduces you you’ll have no choice but to reel all of us in as well.

You can’t hold out on us like this. We need you to go & return with a full report.

Snack, but only if they get a bunch of us at once, much like a solitary peanut isn’t very satisfying.

For safety, we’d come to live in fortified boxes affixed to their backs, and the distances between each of these chihuahua-mounted citadels would be ever changing as a result.

Giant chihuahuas snaffling up us tiny humans.

Love it really. Would never have this done but if I ended up with this place I’d keep the bathroom.

Grandma’s idea of cooking was shucking oysters & popping champagne to entertain her lovers, so I think she’d only disapprove of the lack of hard drugs in your kitchen.