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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 14th, 2023

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  • Honestly I don’t know, I give up on life time ago, then this last year I start “living” again by having a daily activies and job. But I deal with this like someone dead inside, I don’t feel any joy. I am not even looking for a goal. I see nothing in other people, I interact with then know that i get forget as soon the day end. I am just too scared to kill myself.





  • I’m glad to finally read someone that’s say something real. Its all about lying, yes I educate myself and I even try to fake a fair enough resumee. I realize this is the only way to hope for something. I don’t have special abilities, not good at math, coding boring me. I try a lot of thing in this life, I am in a training program now, but things move slowly, I’m 35, I should have a wife by now, an happy place called home, but looks so far away, looks even that I lost the train to having that life. Feeling already old even if I do nothing, life ask things I dont have. Stupid things like a car, I don’t want it, I don’t like it, but people want me to have it. This example apply to everything. In order to have something I wish for I need to want something I don’t like, that’s so stupid and I feel bad.




  • I think human interaction change with times that tell us what we need to have to be good as friend. I am also running from people but not because I can’t deal with conflict but because shame. I spend many time to understand and shame is mine final answer. I am ashamed of my dirty apartment in my father garage, I am ashamed of not having a degree, a job, the will of even find an occupation. Then I ashamed of my body, fat and full of scars of heavy loss of height. Simple I am just a monster, that lives only because parents keep alive. What kind of friend can be possible be? That’s there reason to escape. This why not everyone can have interactions.