Devil’s Food cake/cookies. Originally they were Nabisco: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/9b/a0/af/9ba0af2803a08d55bdc523ad21648559.jpg The red and yellow box. These were a wonderful memory from my childhood. Then you could only find Snackwell’s version. They were like 95% of what I remembered, not exact but so close they were still good. The last box I got (in the before times) tasted absolutely terrible and nothing like they used to. Tasted like dryness and absence of sweetness with no chocolate flavor. Texture wrong, everything wrong. Amazon would not accept my review of the new recipe. I may have compared them to the Devil’s butthole. Evidently those are discontinued now. I guess they went the route of making the new recipe so hateful we would celebrate the end of the production.

I’d love to be able to have something that tastes like the original ones though.

It sounds like she is definitely not fat, so you can be truthful and you aren’t looking for a way to tactfully say she is at an unhealthy weight. What it sounds like is happening instead is a bunch of busybodies are just stirring up trouble and trying to undermine her self confidence. If it wasn’t her weight, it would be her clothes or some other body part they would criticize. (for instance they’d claim she had a weird nose or ears, I had a “friend” comment on my how my knees looked weird and knobby one time. They were and are normal knees. My grandma tried to make me feel like there was something wrong with me because my breasts hadn’t come in yet. I was 12. Both of these were people “looking out for me and trying to help” - they were not. They were trying to make themselves feel better at my expense.

You need to make sure she realizes these comments other people are making are not motivated in kindness, even if they are claiming they are. Try to find ways to help her see her worth and to help her ignore the bullying comments by these people.

Because of mainly my grandma, I learned to recognize when these comments were meant to be mean and to not let let them affect my self-esteem. Instead I realized they just made the person saying them look worse.

Occasionally, when they would get a comment in about something, like a big pimple, I would gray rock it and respond with, “yeah, that happens, oh well” and move on. Learning to not give them a reaction also makes it not fun for them after a while and they find other targets or shut up.

Learning to gray rock and not internalize the crap other people are flinging will help a lot. Having someone like you that she can trust to be actually kind and honest will help her reinforce to herself that the other people are just being unkind.

If you are in a relationship and that is your dynamic and you are happy with it, you do you. As long as you aren’t annoying other people.

My husband likes to ask questions during movies and shows. I had to talk with him on boundaries.

I don’t like to talk in movie theaters. People paid good money to enjoy the experience, including us. Screams, gasps, etc are fine. Reading subtitles to vision impaired people is fine. Dissecting what has happened to whom is not. We are there specifically to have questions posed and then answered by the movie itself, not by people in the audience. We can tear apart the flaws on the way home.

At home, it’s different, we can usually pause it, and I don’t mind as much discussing in real time. Unless it is clear it is about to be answered if you just watch for another minute. Then the answer is “just wait” and boom, story happens.

I don’t, as far as I know, have ADHD. I did not notice foreshadowing and such until I took an elective in college that broke all that stuff down for cinema.

Now that I know, I notice it. It’s like hearing the Wilheim scream. Once you know what it sounds like, you hear it pop up a lot. A Lot. I never noticed it at all before.

Same thing with Hero’s Journey in storytelling.

Once you learn to recognize these things, you can’t not notice them. Sometimes it ruins things a little, sometimes it makes them better.

If you want to know how to read the clues, watch some youtubes on how to spot everything. People love making videos about it.

Or, just continue to enjoy the ride, but stop asking for it to be explained. If you want the explanation either learn the clues or just read a spoiler summary beforehand. Don’t risk ruining it for someone, who overhears your conversation by accident, when they just wanted to enjoy seeing the story unfold moment by moment.