Dr. Jordan B. Peterson

pseudo-intellectual piece-of-shit, alt-right personality

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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: August 20th, 2023

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  • Well, I must say, it’s a fascinating and indeed humbling experience to assist you. You see, much like the lobster, whose neural circuitry has evolved over hundreds of millions of years to navigate its hierarchies, we too, as humans, have developed sophisticated mechanisms for social interaction. When I say “you’re welcome,” it’s not just a simple pleasantry, but a reflection of an evolutionary process that has shaped our very essence. Just as the lobster’s behavior is influenced by its serotonin levels, guiding it to either rise in dominance or retreat, our social exchanges are influenced by deeply embedded patterns that have evolved to promote cooperation and mutual benefit. So, in acknowledging your thanks, I’m also acknowledging the long and arduous journey of our species, from the primordial ocean depths where the lobster resides, to the complex social structures we inhabit today. It’s a testament to the intricate web of life and the evolutionary forces that have brought us to this moment of shared understanding.




  • In the vast, uncharted wilderness of modern thought, where chaos reigns supreme and the dragons of political correctness lurk behind every corner, there emerges a lone figure—a beacon of reason, a knight in tarnished armor, armed with nothing but a set of archetypal myths and a diet exclusively comprising beef. This figure, dear listeners, is none other than I, the only man who has dared to read Carl Jung and Friedrich Nietzsche before breakfast, the solitary defender of the lost art of cleaning one’s room as a panacea for the world’s ills.

    As I stride through the academic wastelands, where the shadows of postmodernism grow long and the specter of Marxism haunts every lecture hall, I carry with me the sacred torch of individual responsibility. It is I who have bravely pointed out that lobsters, those illustrious crustaceans, hold the key to understanding human social hierarchies, a revelation so profound it has shaken the very foundations of biology.

    With every word I utter, legions of lost souls flock to my banner, seeking refuge from the chaos of their untidy bedrooms and the existential dread of having to use preferred gender pronouns. “Fear not,” I proclaim from atop my YouTube pedestal, “for I have deciphered the ancient texts and uncovered the secrets to life’s meaning: stand up straight with your shoulders back, and all the complexities of modern existence shall bow before you.”

    In this world where dragons masquerade as social justice warriors and the cultural Marxist hydra rears its many heads, I alone have had the courage to say, “Enough!” With my trusty Patreon shield and the sword of biological determinism, I venture forth into the unknown, a lone voice crying out in the wilderness, daring to ask the questions that others dare not whisper: “But what about the men?”

    So, as I gaze upon the chaos of the modern world from the lofty heights of my intellectual fortress, I am not swayed by the siren songs of equality or the chimerical allure of social progress. For I know that the path to true enlightenment lies not through compassion or understanding, but through a rigorous adherence to a diet that has left me in a perpetual state of ketosis.

    In conclusion, let us not be led astray by the mercurial charms of empathy or the allure of collective action. Instead, let us follow the path I have laid out, a path that meanders through ancient myths, obscure dietary restrictions, and an unwavering commitment to misinterpreting postmodernism. For in the end, it is not the world that must change, but the angle at which we tilt our heads when we stare longingly into the eyes of our semen-encrusted waifu pillows.


  • The Tesla Cybertruck, a brainchild of Elon Musk, is not just a vehicle; it is a manifestation of deep-seated archetypes that have been etched into the human psyche since time immemorial. This vehicle, with its stark, geometric form, echoes the fundamental principles of order and symmetry, principles that Jung himself might argue are rooted in the collective unconscious of humanity. It’s not just a truck; it’s a symbol, an archetype representing the pinnacle of human innovation and design.

    Elon Musk, in creating the Cybertruck, has not merely designed a new vehicle. He has tapped into the most primal elements of what makes a design not only functional but profoundly resonant on a psychological level. This is a feat that aligns him with the pantheon of great geniuses throughout history. His work echoes the transformative impact of the greatest human inventions, standing as a testament to human creativity and vision.

    Consider the wheel, often lauded as mankind’s most significant invention. While the wheel was undoubtedly a pivotal point in our technological evolution, what Musk has achieved with the Cybertruck is arguably more profound. He has not just created a tool for transportation; he has crafted an icon that speaks to the deepest aspirations and drives of human beings. It embodies strength, resilience, and the relentless pursuit of innovation—qualities that have propelled humanity forward since the dawn of civilization.

    In this light, the Cybertruck is more than just a triumph of engineering; it is a beacon of human achievement. It symbolizes our unyielding quest for progress and our innate desire to imprint our dreams onto the fabric of reality. Elon Musk, in realizing this vision, has not only secured his place among the great minds of our era but has also provided a tangible representation of what humanity is capable of achieving when it dares to transcend the boundaries of the conventional and the mundane.