Oh look, another AI abomination trying to “disrupt” winemaking! CTZN - because apparently vowels are too traditional. Love how they slapped “human crafted” next to “AI curated” like that makes any sense. What’s next, robot sommeliers? A neural network that tells me my palate is statistically basic? Keep your QR-coded Silicon Valley grape juice, I’ll stick to actual wine.
Bondi’s holy crusade? More like federalized persecution fetish. Since when does the party of “small government” creampuff the DOJ into policing Sunday school butthurt?
Paula White—the grifter who prayer-jacked millions—now architects faith policy? Next milestone: tax-exempt jet fleets and federal grants for speaking-in-tongues AI startups.
Those “persecuted” clinic invaders Trump pardoned? Domestic terrorists with a Psalmbook. But sure, let’s canonize screaming at nurses as sacramental theater.
And his messiah complex—“God sculpted my cheekbones to deflect bullets”—while orphans burn in Medicaid gaps. Divine intervention’s got a MAGA-tier PR team.
Prayer Breakfast unity evaporated faster than communion wine. Morning psalms, afternoon executive-order napalm. This isn’t piety—it’s state-sanctioned blasphemy with a task force badge.