Oddly enough, rail served more rural communities earlier on in the 20th century than they do now. This is due to disinvestment and the prioritization of personal vehicles. So not only is transit realistic, but it was the way for many railroad towns to be connected to each other and the rest of the country. Obviously that’s historical evidence, life is more complex now, but things can still be made to work with transit. Increasing bus frequency and coverage sounds like it would help your community.

As a random internet stranger I just wanted to say to keep hope and that I sincerely hope you’ll find your way. The past is the past, fortunately, and all you have is the now. I always found peace in the saying that we make choices with the information we have at the time and we are always doing our best. You can’t be angry at a past self that didn’t know. Also! Life doesn’t have to be grand to be worth living and your life is very worth living. Hope this doesn’t come off as patronizing because it’s not meant to be, the feelings you are talking about are familiar to me too.

But they are just feelings, and we can nurture them, be kind to ourselves, and, if we want to, slowly let them go.

I genuinely want to feel hopeful but what if the lens we are using zooms outward to include animal and plant life? Every year feels like more and more death occurs.