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Cake day: July 13th, 2023

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  • Just like America itself England can be blamed. Since there are already a bunch of WW2 answers, I’ll go back to post WW1 where England and France decided to carve up the middle east in their own interests. This created a bunch of countries with boarders that made little sense, mainly so one big influencal leader could give countries to his family members. Then jump ahead to an Australian showing up in Iran agreeing to look for oil and if he finds any he keeps 90% of the profits for 60 years. Once he found oil and made a bunch of money England said that is too good of a deal and just took over the company and changing its name to BP. Iran said this deal sucks and demanded a better deal, England said fuck you and went and asked America to step in and help them keep their deal. America sent the CIA in to cause problems, and the CIA was successful. The new leader still forced England to accept a more fair deal, but pissed off the people of Iran. So when the dictator was overthrown the new leadership was founded on a very popular policy of death to America because the CIA did what England asked them to do.
















  • Churchs were mad that nuns were giving away too much money to the poor, so they made a rule to try to reduce it. a bunch of nuns started giving away a bunch of stuff to celebrate st Nicholas Day to get around the rules. Protestants show up and want to get away from celebrating saints, people like giving and receiving stuff on st Nicholas Day, so Protestants come up with wanting baby Jesus giving the gifts, but babys aren’t very good at following directions so they get older kids to do it which is where Chris Kringle comes from. You end up with a bunch of regional offshoots of either st Nicholas or of Chris Kringle. Then the idea of putting bad kids in sacks and beating them with sticks shows up but for some reason no one wanted st Nicholas or a baby Jesus analog to do the beating so a bunch of offshoot characters start showing up as helpers to the gift giver to punish bad kids.
    The krampus is hard to pin down because it was in rural areas of Germany and most of the documentation about it is from post cards made in cities using 2nd and 3rd hand information to design what the krampus looks like.