It’s just the culture you grew up in but it makes no sense to me not addressing someone by their name and instead rank them by seniority.

I’m portuguese. Family is very important for us, even more than for italians, I risk.

Two generations back, no child would dare address a parent as such. It would always be “sir” or “madam”. And the same would happen for any older people. It was enforced through religion and socially because we were under a dictatorship that wanted to “elevate” the country, so social status and ranking had to be constantly displayed and reinforced. Being a father or a mother was a function, in the name of god and for the advancement of the state and country.

Poor, humble, people could not care. Children were treasures by themselves and being mother or father is a previliege only few deserve. Being addressed as such was precious. It made their petty lives meaningful. And when the dictatorship was toppled, that notion pushed out the “proper”, religion fed, state supported, socially enforced, status quo.

Children nowadays address parents in the second (“you”) person, the same for grand parents, great-grandparents, uncles, aunts or any relative. Mother and father carry belonging and closeness. A family title implies care for the other, a bond that crosses generations, that binds people together. Blood truly runs thicker than water, here.

If a relative gets our formal second person, added to their family title, that immediatly signals that person is not a close relative nor a person we are at ease with. If a relative gets an added “Sir” or “Madam” it’s implied the family tie is recognized but nor trust or closeness are granted and the other person will have to earn it.

This also bleeds to social interactions. If introduced to someone, most will stick to the more neutral formal second person. It can easily evade titles and passes as polite but only out of courtesy, as we have no previous connection towards the other. The informal second person can be earned between work colleagues or someone we interact on a daily basis. If the formal second person is enforced, that is distancing being put between people and that denounces they don’t get along. Demanding a title is close to stating two individuals only deal with eachother by necessity.

However, it is considered polite to address someone by their professional title, especially in health related context.

Back to family.

A family is only as strong as the individuals that make it up. My children address me as father and that is an honor and privilige they grant me. But my name in their mouth is their recognition of my individuality and the same is true in reverse. I do not admit to anyone demand from my children an addressing by “Sir” or “Madam” without giving them the same deference. And if I refuse formality and insist being addressed by name is because I want to be recognized by who I am. It saddens me to hear close relatives and people that work and collaborate on a daily basis hide behind titles or enforce artificial social distance. We all rely on each other. In a broad sense, we are all related.

By order of preference:

• water
• lemonade, iced, sweetned, with a mint leaf
• iced tea, home made
• ginger ale, again, home made

(stay with me, people, I’m just that annoying)

• ginger beer, non-alcoholic, again, home made
• a store brand energy drink and that drink alone; other drinks taste like disappointment and industrial solvents
• sparkling water, chilled, but only if Pedras Salgadas; it’s slightly bitter and acidic
• gin & tonic, in a chilled glass, for a late afternoon drink
• moscaranja, a mixed drink with Moscatel wine and fresh orange juice, high ball glass, with ice
• Pisang Ambon and orange juice, with ice, same presentation as above
• sangria, and this implies red wine, not champagne, sparkling wine, rosé, etc. Just a nice strong red wine, poured over fresh fruit, a bit of orange juice, sugar and a bit of sparkling water. With ice.
• chilled white wine. No ice. Watered wine tastes like dish water and sadness.
• coke, over ice, with a slice of lemon
• beer, if nothing else available and I’m walking home

This is as close to the definition of a shitty idea as it can get.

I have a headache after reading that.

First, write for yourself.

Not what the trends or market may be pointing to or wanting but what you would like or want to read yourself.

Second, just write.

Does not matter when, how, where… Just write. Let the words flow, sentences build, paragraphs form.

Third, write with no concern if it makes sense.

Our uncouncious mind has a voice of itself. Let it out. Most times, what is holding us back is something underneath the surface needing to get out.

Fourth, write now, read later.

Put it out now but allow yourself time to let whatever came out to cool and only then go read it again. It may not make it any further, it may be worthy of picking it further. Regardless, it will remember you of how were when it took form. Learn from it.

Fifth, write what you live in your mind.

We may be able to take someone on a journey with what we write but we are the only ones that know the minute details behind the veil and where all the threads left unravelled lead. We know the worlds we visit in a way no one will. Enjoy that privilege.

Sixth, write down a map of your stories.

Put down a framewire of what your work is supposed to grow into. Set the guidelines for yourself, how many chapters there will be, small ideas to insert into the story. And review it as the story build and evolves.

Seventh, write organically.

No story is set in stone, no matter how cristalized it may be in our mind. A sentence may throw the flow of the story in a previously unseen direction, a line of dialogue create entirely new branchings. Allow the story to tell itself, to grow, expand and evolve. Don’t try to hold it to a fixed, predetermined form or path.

Eighth, and final, ignore what others tell or advise you.

They know nothing, of you, your work, your mind. Devise a science of one. Explore your mind, discover what makes it work optimally, how to tune in, at will, into that specific mindset. And, above all else, be a little bit delusional: you are the best writer on the planet and what you write no one else can.

No, it’s not my point, although there is a difference between expressing ideas, no matter how contrarian or controversial they may be, and spouting hate or other positions detrimental to advancement.

I am aware of what you mention of companies sniffing for the social media of employees and potential applicants. It is a shameful practice. And if it is illegal in my country, has it is viewed as trespassing on one’s privacy, it should be as welll any and everywhere.

Nobody should be ashamed nor afraid of expressing their opinions and ideas. Unfortunately, freedom of expression is often confused with the hability of saying whatever one feels like it, which is not.

What you describe (and fear, I take) is persecution. And that already tells whatever system an individual lives in is already deep into veering towards blatant suppression of rights. The US case is so off the rails it deserves an entire category to itself but it is only one among too many.

On the question of banning access to pornography I am completely against it. Yet I can not and will not deny the amount of evidence that supports that early and easy access to it is in fact tainting how people in general and kids in particular understand how relations are constructed. Pornography is really good at teaching wrong things. Nothing against it per se, it can be fun, but it should be consumed just like sugar, tobbacco and alcohol: in moderation and knowing of its ill effects.

I personally started reading erotic books much sooner than it was supposed. I recognize that curiosity towards sex and sexuality is ingrained in what makes us humans. I’m not advocating for banning adult material of any sort. What I would like to see would be clear boundaries for that specific content, for it not reaching those who are not expected to access it unware. It can’t be written off to caveat emptor. Even less because a lot of it is “free”.

The web is as it is today in great measure due to porn. There was a lot of money being poured into technology to facilitate access to it and in high definition. Let’s be thankful for it but that is it. It can be almost ubiquious nowadays, along with casinos and crypto. It’s too much and too much of a good thing is bad for everyone. Remember death by snu-snu.

I have no illusion we, as a species and a civilization, are going through a very dark period. Again. All the prior should have been able to sink in the lesson but we are either too sttuborn or too stupid to learn. Censoring, wide spread control of ideas, knowledge and thought is detrimental to a fair and free society.

Excuses like “protecting children”, “fighting terrorism”, etc, are, as you correctly said, excuses to make advances on individual rights and liberties. But we should be as concerned by now that companies do whatever they can to reach their goals and we are being force fed too many things that are not good for us. Two wrongs don’t make a right but something has to change. Perhaps ceasing to be afraid of being responsible by one’s own ideas and words would be a good start. Maybe stop feeding social media would be another. And perhaps reigning in companies on bad practices could be another.

That’s the point.

You, as a common citizen, should not have to. But the moment you feel like to share your thought or opinion, you should be identifiable and made responsible for it.

The current social media outlets shield behind the argument they act solely as channels while at the same time fostering and allowing for “anonymous” groups or individuals to spout whatever views they want, often views that deter from advancing social and civilizational progress. Hence the current state of the world, with authoritarianism on a rise and hight like there wasn’t in nearly 70 years.

When the internet was made of individual websites, the person behind it was automatically made responsible for whatever they put on it. That was fair and reasonable.

Pushes like this, is assigning suspition/guilt before any wrong doing.

I will grant the overall facilitated acess to pornography is damaging the kids. There are already enough studies showing how the early access to porn is related to bad interpersonal relations on social, emotional and sexual level.

But this does not imply you should be identifying yourself to access adult content or anything on the web. Just impose curation. If it’s available to the public, you’re responsible for it.

Old school “dirty” books and magazines stores had controlled access and the really hardcore stuff was well out of reach of who should not get to it. Free porn is nice but there are things available that should be behind pay walls or at least registry, with identity verification.

Try reading it instead. Go old school. And while you’re at it, write yourself and share it. Bring back the times of hand to hand banned knowledge sharing.

But now seriously: that is completely stupid.

As anyone considered the amount of money that “industry” generates. Considering the US is so economy driven and concerned with jobs, maybe that argument can raise concerns.

At some point, it will be easier to just not have a phone.

It’s achieveable if enough alcohol is added to the subject looking at the said painting. And with some exotic chemistry they may even start to taste or hear the colors.

It was an abomination.

Dark bread (wheat/rye mix), homemade, mustard, mortadela, cheese, letuce and a slice of tomato.

Fit it’s role.

I want to but many artists are abandoning the format.

Personal preference.

I like to buy and keep something. So beside the network coverage issues I face, I prefer to buy and keep my copies in my home, to listen wherever and whenever I want, without the need for an app or something alike to make sure the music I paid for actually plays.

Call me old fashioned.

Magnatune is no longer a business. They stopped offering new memberships.

For reasons unknown, I’ve had 3 separate accounts on that site shut down. I’m done with them.

There is one artist on Bandcamp whose work I want to get but I understand Bandcamp is more geared towards indie musicians.

Is this true?

For health reasons, nothing to object. For pure vanity, it makes no sense.

That I am a functioning human. Several conspired against it over the years.

I thought we had already invented that one. In two separate version. The first was the bathtub and the revised one being the shower booth.

Seems very reasonable.