Mysql and it was file locking on just a 21k 10GB folder constantly

It’ll definitely do that if you keep your database on a network share with spinning disks.

Spin up a container with sqlite in a ram disk and point it to your same data location. Most of the problems go away.

If you’re having issues with NextCloud being slow and having errors, it’s probably because the machine you are running it on is low on RAM and/or CPU.

I bring this up because what ever replacements you try would likely have the same issues.

My NextCloud instance was nearly unusable when I had it on a Raspberry PI 3, but when I moved it to a container on my faster machine (AMD Ryzen 7 4800U with 16GB of ram) it now works flawlessly.