I feel like this joke would have landed better 5, or maybe even 3 years ago. Every even remotely fancy restaurant I go into has jumped on the mocktail bandwagon and offers plenty of options for people avoiding alcohol.
You are paying for way more than the sum of the parts when you order a cocktail, I’m not really sure why you’d suddenly be concerned about doing so when it comes to a mocktail.
Even then, it’s not really accurate anyway. A cocktail is a bunch of ingredients mixes together. You can usually get them without the alcohol if you ask for it (obviously this doesn’t work for every drink). They list of cocktails is so large because there’s a lot of ways to combine a few ingredients to make different things. They don’t actually stock that many types of drinks or anything. They’re made on demends, and can usually be modified if you ask.
If you can remove the alcohol from any “cocktail” and still have more than just flavored ice or a dirty glass, you were drinking slightly alcoholic mocktails the whole time.
Old Fashioned mocktail is a cherry on top of a large ice cube that you’ve used to bludgeon some sugar and an orange.
A Sazerac mocktail is akin to an empty glass someone just drink a sweet lemony drink from. You don’t get the lemony drink, just the dirty glass.
A margarita mocktail is salty lime flavored ice. This is basically a daquiri mocktail too, adding a strawberry seems popular.
A Manhattan mocktail is a sweetened cherry in an otherwise empty glass.
A mojito mocktail is a bit more substantial, minty sugar water with a hint of lime.
A mint julep mocktail, again just minty sugar water.
A white Russian mocktail is just a glass of cream over ice.
A mimosa mocktail is just a nearly empty glass of orange juice.
The non-alcoholic parts of a cocktail are rarely more than a quarter of the volume if they’re made properly. Most cocktails are a half oz of sugar water and a citrus flavor. The other 2/3 of the volume (not counting the ice) is alcohol. Just order a soda, soda water (with or without a garnish), tea, or my favorite a Topo Chico and lime.
I feel like this joke would have landed better 5, or maybe even 3 years ago. Every even remotely fancy restaurant I go into has jumped on the mocktail bandwagon and offers plenty of options for people avoiding alcohol.
Of course they do. They sell them equally expensive without the expensive ingredients!
Really? They’re kind a third of the price here.
Not everyone does it. Shady places charge equal price for virgin cocktails.
You are paying for way more than the sum of the parts when you order a cocktail, I’m not really sure why you’d suddenly be concerned about doing so when it comes to a mocktail.
Even then, it’s not really accurate anyway. A cocktail is a bunch of ingredients mixes together. You can usually get them without the alcohol if you ask for it (obviously this doesn’t work for every drink). They list of cocktails is so large because there’s a lot of ways to combine a few ingredients to make different things. They don’t actually stock that many types of drinks or anything. They’re made on demends, and can usually be modified if you ask.
Cocktails without alcohol cost way too much for what they are. That would be like paying 15 bucks for a burger without meat.
Restaurants sometimes also have like dozens of types of beer, wine, etc. but the best non-alcoholic they can do is a water or a coca cola softdrink?
If you can remove the alcohol from any “cocktail” and still have more than just flavored ice or a dirty glass, you were drinking slightly alcoholic mocktails the whole time.
Old Fashioned mocktail is a cherry on top of a large ice cube that you’ve used to bludgeon some sugar and an orange.
A Sazerac mocktail is akin to an empty glass someone just drink a sweet lemony drink from. You don’t get the lemony drink, just the dirty glass.
A margarita mocktail is salty lime flavored ice. This is basically a daquiri mocktail too, adding a strawberry seems popular.
A Manhattan mocktail is a sweetened cherry in an otherwise empty glass.
A mojito mocktail is a bit more substantial, minty sugar water with a hint of lime.
A mint julep mocktail, again just minty sugar water.
A white Russian mocktail is just a glass of cream over ice.
A mimosa mocktail is just a nearly empty glass of orange juice.
The non-alcoholic parts of a cocktail are rarely more than a quarter of the volume if they’re made properly. Most cocktails are a half oz of sugar water and a citrus flavor. The other 2/3 of the volume (not counting the ice) is alcohol. Just order a soda, soda water (with or without a garnish), tea, or my favorite a Topo Chico and lime.
One virgin martini please. Stirred.
handed cool glass with three olives in it
Thank you, kind sir!
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
Topo Chico and lime
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.
At least in North America. I get the sense Europe still thinks drinking is cool across the board.