My experiences are usually either secondhand or from assholes who assume I’m safe to be racist around.
My Korean partner and I were traveling and met a business associate of hers who happened to live in the area. The associate brought her fiance. The fiance managed to complain about immigrants 3 times within the first ten minutes. I felt like I couldn’t make a scene because it might impact my partner’s work life so I just did my best to make it obvious that was not a welcome topic and then freeze him out of the conversation. He didn’t pick up on it, either because he is an idiot or an asshole, probably both. This was in rural Colorado.
My partner has also gotten pulled over several times driving through Texas for being the wrong color. Instead of being able to remain in her vehicle, she was told she had to sit in the back of the police vehicle while they ran her plates or whatever excuse they had.
And there’s always the “Where are you from? No, I mean where are you from?” questions.
The fetishizing of Asians also gets pretty gross, but I’d rather leave that one to the imagination.
She is adopted and has a white family that are Trump supporters. She gets used by them to say they couldn’t possibly be racist, like that guy who has a black friend. Meanwhile, they call an apartment complex that has a lot of minorities living in it “the zoo.” They also claim to be colorblind, which really made them dismissive to the issues my partner faced growing up in a predominately white town as well as more recent problems like the wave of anti Asian sentiment during around covid. Any disagreement with the family is an attack on them, so there’s no hope there.
Her name is also very white sounding. People can get surprised if they’ve spoken to her via phone or online and then get introduced to her in real life.
Racism can be subtle. Thankfully my partner’s found good, supportive spaces as well.
Adoption in general is a complicated issue. My family adopted a boy from South America after I had left the nest. That always gave me “white man’s burden” vibes.
My experiences are usually either secondhand or from assholes who assume I’m safe to be racist around.
My Korean partner and I were traveling and met a business associate of hers who happened to live in the area. The associate brought her fiance. The fiance managed to complain about immigrants 3 times within the first ten minutes. I felt like I couldn’t make a scene because it might impact my partner’s work life so I just did my best to make it obvious that was not a welcome topic and then freeze him out of the conversation. He didn’t pick up on it, either because he is an idiot or an asshole, probably both. This was in rural Colorado.
My partner has also gotten pulled over several times driving through Texas for being the wrong color. Instead of being able to remain in her vehicle, she was told she had to sit in the back of the police vehicle while they ran her plates or whatever excuse they had.
And there’s always the “Where are you from? No, I mean where are you from?” questions.
The fetishizing of Asians also gets pretty gross, but I’d rather leave that one to the imagination.
She is adopted and has a white family that are Trump supporters. She gets used by them to say they couldn’t possibly be racist, like that guy who has a black friend. Meanwhile, they call an apartment complex that has a lot of minorities living in it “the zoo.” They also claim to be colorblind, which really made them dismissive to the issues my partner faced growing up in a predominately white town as well as more recent problems like the wave of anti Asian sentiment during around covid. Any disagreement with the family is an attack on them, so there’s no hope there.
Her name is also very white sounding. People can get surprised if they’ve spoken to her via phone or online and then get introduced to her in real life.
Racism can be subtle. Thankfully my partner’s found good, supportive spaces as well.
Adoption in general is a complicated issue. My family adopted a boy from South America after I had left the nest. That always gave me “white man’s burden” vibes.