This is how this conversation would go with my wife and I:

“Oh god! You’re finally awake!!! Babe, you’ve been asleep for two years!!!”

“What are you talking about?”

“Look how long you’ve been gone!”

“Everything looks exactly the same as when I went to sleep.”

“No it isn’t! Look at my hair!”

“Oh, did you get a haircut? It looks nice.”

I’m not good with details.