It’s like can’t win. Its been like this my entire life. I currently have don’t have problems getting to sleep but it’s waking up that’s bullshit.
A complete REM cycle is usually around 90mins, and it takes about 30mins to start falling asleep deeply. For me personally, 7.5hrs is the perfect amount of sleep, which equates to 5 REM cycles.
Now, if you wake up in the middle of a cycle, you will usually feel groggy as your brain gets to grip with reality. Therefore, you want to aim to wake up just at the end of a cycle, ideally.
Try sleeping without an alarm, and make note of when you went to bed, and when you woke up. Hopefully, that time should be roughly divisible by 90mins, assuming nothing woke you up.
Knowing the above info, you can time your sleep better to ensure you don’t set an alarm for mid-cycle. As the other commenter mentioned, there are also apps & devices that can help detect when you’re coming out of REM and time the alarm based on that.
Lastly, if you do snooze after waking up, try “snoozing” for a full REM cycle (90mins), or try a power nap (<25mins). That might help “catch up” on sleep after you wake up.
I used to purposefully set my alarm 90mins before my actual wake up time, and then “snooze” for 90. That was mainly to induce lucid dreams though.
+1 for sleeping without an alarm. If you really need an alarm to get up every day, you might not be getting enough sleep to begin with. Some of that is unavoidable (noises, light waking you up at night etc.) but a lot of people think they can get by with like 6 hours or less of sleep and just get by on extra coffee.
Taking a week or so to just let your body wake up when it wants (even if it means going to bed early, ugh) will help you figure out how much sleep you need.
+1 on determining (and understanding) sleep cycles. And +1 on naps. I consider myself really good at napping. Somewhere I read NASA determined 26 minutes being the best nap amount, so I have a 28 minute timer because I can usually fall asleep within 5 minutes.
Routines before sleeping can help your brain fall asleep faster. I beleive that’s a key to my nap ability because it usually works even if I don’t think I’m sleepy. I have 1 hour for lunch at work, so if I bring food, I can nap in my car. I used to park facing uphill and east at one job to get extra recline and keep the afternoon sun off me, but my current lot is flat and I got a sleep mask. I play a specific artist (Deadmau5) on a low volume. I have used construction ear muffs as extra sound dampening.
I learned of a mental game that does an amazing job of getting my thoughts to calm down. Pick a category, then run through the alphabet to name something for each letter. Apple, banana, cranberry, etc. If you can’t think of something, skip the letter and come back. I basically never make it to the end unless I’m really upset about something. And, not gonna lie, the most effective category for me is sex/porn categories. Nothing is more focused than a horny brain.
Added to that, some smart devices try to measure your exact sleep cycle and wake you at the right time. Phones yrying to do that using microphone or accelerometer to measure sounds or vibrations are notoriously bad at it, some watches with more sophisticated sensors might have better results, but I don’t have personal experience with that.
Use smart lights. Have the light gradually ramp up intensity until it peaks a few minutes before your alarm goes off.
Also make sure you’re going to bed with enough time to fall asleep and get a full night’s sleep consistently.
Smart blinds can also serve a similar function. My bedroom catches some light from passing headlights and there’s enough light pollution to affect my sleep. However, my SO really struggles to wake up if it’s dark. Smart blinds have been a great solution for us. The biggest drawback is noise. Affordable blinds are not silent.
my sleep routine has become one of if not the most important routine. i dealt with insomnia for years, which always spirals into poor appetite, ever-decreasing functioning and bad decisions. i understand now that maintaining a routine is critical for me, and i have added tools for falling asleep, staying asleep, and waking well-rested.
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i picked up a good sleep mask, one that blocks absolutely all light and allows unobstructed blinking. even more so than the functional aspect of blocking light, the sensation of wearing the sleep mask has helped program my brain into quickly recognizing sleeptime on-demand.
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a minimally-intrusive sleep aid. i started with melatonin but eventually switched to D8/D9 gummies and never looked back. within 45m of taking a gummy i feel the heaviness in my limbs and easily succumb to sleep. this is likely not necessary for everyone but i consider the reliable effectiveness to be an effective insurance.
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ensuring proper sleep posture. i overlooked this one for a long time, thinking that stacking pillows under my head and around my body was as good as it could get. but i would wake up every morning with neck and back pain, grumpy and frustrated. after learning about traditional asian pillows it clicked together that the intent of a head rest is neck support. on a whim i picked up a buckwheat hull neck roll and it has absolutely changed my life. first time i used it, flat on my back with it under my neck, my legs tingled from the relief of tension in my body. the moral here is to assess for sources of discomfort in your sleeping posture and find ways to improve it so you are not wasting time and effort trying to get comfortable.
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consider breaking up your sleep hours. I started an unconventional routine last year and it has been very helpful for me in waking refreshed. i set my first alarm for 2.5-3 hours before i want to be fully awake. when that goes off i manage to drag myself out of bed, have a light breakfast and move myself to a recliner in the living room where i gently doze off for another hour/hour and a half, with a few extra minutes on both sides. initially it was not super easy to fall back asleep quickly, but now that it’s routine and with the help of the weighted sleep mask, it happens in minutes. by the time my second alarm goes off, if i’m not already beginning to stir, i open my eyes and am absolutely ready to go. knowing that i can doze off again makes getting up and relocating on that first alarm much much easier, and i have come to deeply enjoy the dedicated peace and quiet of that early morning nap; no expectations weighing on me first thing, just focusing on my breathing and relaxing my body. the downside is now that i’m used to this pattern, my body expects that morning nap and i absolutely have to be up early enough to allow time for it.
i’m certain that a persons ideal sleep routine is extremely subjective and unique to that individual, so these tips may not all be helpful for you, but hopefully they give you some ideas of new strategies to try.
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Everyone else has good suggestions, but for me, it turned out to be sleep apnea. See if you can talk to a sleep doctor.
Depression?
You been checked for sleep apnea?
I Think i have sleep apnea but i don’t want to to pay to greedy US healthcare. Can I self cure this ?
That is a great question. I’m not a doctor, but I do know there are different kinds of sleep apnea, like your airway isnt collapsing, but because your central nervous system has problems. I started using my father’s old CPAP and noticed an improvement, but I also had a previous sleep study with enough hints for me to pursue it further. I know US healthcare isn’t ideal, but doctors also know the answers ya dig?
It might not help you, but it helped me to recognize when laying in bed trying to “sleep in” wasn’t going to happen. If I’m not asleep again in 5 minutes and it’s past a certain time (6:30 for me), fuck it. My body just aches if I lay in bed awake trying to sleep. I get up and enjoy the quiet morning.
If you want to know how to fix this problem, the term to search for is sleep hygiene. You’ve been waking up at the wrong times in your sleep cycle. Quality sleep is a matter of habits, every person is a bit different. Research and apply what fits best with your lifestyle. Also, invest in quality beds and pillows, as well as temperature regulation. It’s far more important than most people give it credit.
Idk if part of the unpleasantness is due to waking suddenly, but if it is consider different alarms like maybe music, an alarm that gradually gets louder, a quiet alarm, or a vibrating alarm. Some have also mentioned alarms with lights that gradually get brighter.
I grew up with one of those cheap ass, plug in, buzzing alarms with the little peg you push in on the back and I still jump and freak out when I hear that sound.