Arch
Anal (Ubuntu)
Because at this point, if you’re still on it you’re taking it up the ass from Canonical
Gentoo is busting instantly and waiting 6 months for the Baby to compile
You buy the partner flatpack from ikea and compile the nervous system. Because you added all modules for the complete experience, they open their eyes and flee from your house.
autoerotic asphyxiation
Cowgirl.
She came prepared, she took control and told me this was a hands off experience. I didn’t need to do anything myself. I just had sex and it was cool.
Bazzite (or any other immutable distro)
Debian is a full day of romantic walks on the beach, fine dining, dancing, and taking in a romantic comedy, followed by easy quick familiar sex and then falling asleep in front of an episode of cozy reality television.
(It can become anything I imagine, but the defaults are just so comfortable…)
perfect
Fedora, so missionary position, but the lights are on and we’re on top of the covers.
That’s perfect. And I heard it’s not a sin outside of marriage as long as SELinux is enabled…
Big question:
getenforce
i’m a linux user do i look like i have sex
Abstinence, most likely
Cowgirl (because hat because Fedora)
This comment might actually make me try Fedora 🤔.
Proof that the distro of choice has nothing to do with actually being as close as possible to your wants and needs, but rather of how cool it sounds… in your mind at least.
NixOS just sits on your face. All the stuff in front of you is awesome. Though you might suffocate at any moment given the options. Oh and sticking your nose too deep into things might get you a broken nose.
Kubuntu is like wearing a condom because you have to
(it’s the only thing that consistently boots on my weird Samsung laptop. everything else intermittently boot loops…)
Raspberry pi os, its like sex but with more lego
NixOS, probably some extreme bondage
Arch, masturbation
Doggystyle
Slackware?
Puppy Linux
