Because I don’t, and pretending to feels dishonest. I’ll listen if they want to talk about it, but I’m not going to act interested, and I certainly won’t ask about it on my own. What I’m trying to figure out is whether people actually care, or if they’re just playing a social game that I’m simply not interested in.
I’m probably on the autistic spectrum, which likely explains this to some extent. But that’s not an excuse - being an asshole is perfectly compatible with autism, so before dunking on me, please realise I probably agree with your criticism.
I was thinking about this for a while.
I’m very short and direct with people. I’ve gotten more polite, but like if someone starts to ramble, I politely redirect them back to the focus and to stick to time. It’s great at work! Every non-essential thing eats into my work hours.
But I noticed I was doing it with friends too. and I realized how selfish I was becoming to them. Like, I’d cut them off to bring up something I was interested in. And they’d politely listen.
Over the year, I’ve gotten better at recognizing that fair exchange of time with friends. They can talk about babies, or life. And I can talk about which Pokemon is acceptable to eat.