Step one : do some activity where you genuinely want to be there involved in that activity. You will meet new people there, it can’t happen if you stay home inactive. You are happy with your own person at this point.

Step two : be kind towards everyone there and show interest to new people with a curiosity state of mind. Talk to people, not only people of direct romantic interest…

Step three : “i had fun spending time with you tonight, is there a way for me to text you to do something together soon?”

Step four : most of the time, when you text to invite you use the word date only once, but it need to be there. She will notice and register that you don’t aim for platonic.

Step five : its out of your control, if there is reciprocal interest you will feel things moving, if it’s not moving over 8-10 dates you need to check within yourself if it’s the relationship you want and discuss the divergence with her. At that point every couple is different, you build the style of communication that will characterize your relationship going forward in this early phase. Let her bring the sex topic first, or most of it.

Dating app will push you just a bit faster to 3-4, but you are doing every step before that through your phone with artificial/imperfect feedback.

Speaking from US context, and referencing your other post.

“Hey do you want to go on a coffee date?”

There’s little words or statements that can act as indicators which are direct/specific yet not pushy. You need to take the risk and be at least a little direct. You also need to be able to receive and handle rejection well.

Social setting means a place you are both at voluntarily and not as a course of daily needs such as a party, concert, book club, barbeque, club, etc. Anything not income/job-related for either party. Not the grocery store, not the bus, not the DMV.

Reading signs of interest in you:

• Someone stays physically near you (e.g. within arms reach) for the majority of the night at a social gathering.
• someone keeps focusing on you over multiple gatherings
• Someone is electing to talk specifically to you significantly more than to other people in a social setting.
• not a strong an indicator: They’re smiling, making lots if eye contact, etc…
• Touch is a pretty uncommon but big indicator when paired with the above. (Hugs, sitting against you, etc.)

These are signs, not invitations. You still need to ask about their intentions, and express yours in some way. Always form enthusiastic consent. If they’re not clearly enthusiastic then either ask their intentions very directly or move on.

I am not providing advice on sex at all here, too complicated and situational especially around consent.

e: formatting

I’ve always assumed this is something that comes naturally, when I’m into someone I take a deep interest in then, ask them questions about their passion, follow up and remember when they tell me things, try to spend time together either in a group or solo, look at them, talk to them eventually about my interest.

There’s no formula and it isn’t some mystical ritual or anything, just treat them well, smile at them, look at them, touch them appropriately and with consent, be engaged and interested in who they are. Don’t fall into the trap of feeling like all members of the opposite sex are a unified being, every person is different and the opposite sex is made up of people just like you, maybe with different bits if you subscribe to that type of gender identity.

Watch some romance movies… even… Hallmark movies. Emulate no more than 20% of what you see and that will be sufficient. Too much more than that will cause an aneurysm. And realistically, normal human interactions are not nearly as concentrated as those movies. It’ll give you the basics.

In other words, you show romantic interest by showing romantic interest.

I (f, gay) actually struggle with this despite being in a 4+ year committed relationship

hey, the commenter Snowstorm Is the only comment I see here that is accurate. following those steps is the best way to show romantic interest in someone.

I would suggest using a dating service so that you know the women are open to dating.