As a guy, when I was younger, I jumped from relationship to relationship looking for that exact thing. You know what I got for my trouble? Nothing.
So, during my college years, I spent time by myself, learning how to get by and be okay with surviving without relying on anyone else. It was a farce of course because I was in school, not going to work, but it was close enough.
I got into the workforce and all of the things I forced myself to learn to be independent from literally everyone, was the pivot point where I was able to stabilize my life and start dating.
After a while I knew I didn’t want someone who needed me. I wanted someone who 100% could do everything that they needed to do on their own, but wanted me around anyways.
I found what I was looking for.
I put a ring on it.
I don’t worry when she goes out in her vehicle that she bought with her own money for her own purposes, that she’s going to go find someone “better” because neither of us care about what’s “better” than whatever else. I don’t have to worry that she’ll call and say she needs money because x, y, or z. She has her own money she made, that she can spend however she wants.
We split household costs, we enjoy eachother company and we value that we aren’t relied on by the other for everything. It goes both ways.
As things have gone, the line between “mine” and “hers” has blurred to the point that, unless it’s a high dollar value item, it’s just ours. Because bothering to remember who paid for what is a waste of time and effort. Cars, yes, anything else? Probably not.
I generally agree with the caveat that having each other as a safety net of sorts has allowed my partner and I to be much more aggressive in our professional careers than we would have otherwise. While we don’t need each other we certainly enable each other because should the need arise we both know that we wouldn’t be left out to dry alone.
Agreed. Both me and my partner had need for medical leave from work, while that includes some income from the government, it’s about half of the usual amount we would earn if we were working. So, when I was out, she stepped up, when she was out, I stepped up.
That’s just what you do when things go sideways. 90% of the time or more, we’re completely independent. The time we spend together is because we want to spend that time together.
As a guy, when I was younger, I jumped from relationship to relationship looking for that exact thing. You know what I got for my trouble? Nothing.
So, during my college years, I spent time by myself, learning how to get by and be okay with surviving without relying on anyone else. It was a farce of course because I was in school, not going to work, but it was close enough.
I got into the workforce and all of the things I forced myself to learn to be independent from literally everyone, was the pivot point where I was able to stabilize my life and start dating.
After a while I knew I didn’t want someone who needed me. I wanted someone who 100% could do everything that they needed to do on their own, but wanted me around anyways.
I found what I was looking for. I put a ring on it.
I don’t worry when she goes out in her vehicle that she bought with her own money for her own purposes, that she’s going to go find someone “better” because neither of us care about what’s “better” than whatever else. I don’t have to worry that she’ll call and say she needs money because x, y, or z. She has her own money she made, that she can spend however she wants.
We split household costs, we enjoy eachother company and we value that we aren’t relied on by the other for everything. It goes both ways.
As things have gone, the line between “mine” and “hers” has blurred to the point that, unless it’s a high dollar value item, it’s just ours. Because bothering to remember who paid for what is a waste of time and effort. Cars, yes, anything else? Probably not.
I generally agree with the caveat that having each other as a safety net of sorts has allowed my partner and I to be much more aggressive in our professional careers than we would have otherwise. While we don’t need each other we certainly enable each other because should the need arise we both know that we wouldn’t be left out to dry alone.
Agreed. Both me and my partner had need for medical leave from work, while that includes some income from the government, it’s about half of the usual amount we would earn if we were working. So, when I was out, she stepped up, when she was out, I stepped up.
That’s just what you do when things go sideways. 90% of the time or more, we’re completely independent. The time we spend together is because we want to spend that time together.