She was underweight before because she hardly ate anything. She’s way better now. But some people comment on her change of weight because they compare it to how she was before.
When she was under weight, just tell her she looks a lot healtier then she did and most importantly that you like her no matter what.
With humans it’s just like with other animals, you shouldn’t be able to see the ribs, you need to be able to feel them, just. (You can go hunt for them and tickle her to prove it ;) )
It´s a trap. She seems to suffer from an eating disorder, so if you directly respond to the statement, you can only lose. No matter what you say she will find a way to turn it around. Instead ignore the “I am fat” part and immediately steer away from the topic. Try something like:
I’m sorry, it looks like this is freaking you out. You know it’s not useful to talk about it, right? So, let’s do something to change the mood. Shall we (insert activity you both enjoy) instead?
‘Tell your gf to just ignore it and not talk about being upset to you’ is a great way to ruin a relationship. A woman being upset is not a trap, and viewing relationships as adversarial is setting yourself up for failure.
ETA: This guy can’t stop editing comments to try to make it look like he had less of a meltdown than he did.
You (and the others who downvoted my comment) are completely missing the main point here, which is that the gf is obviously showing behavioural patterns connected to a form of eating disorder, like Anorexia and/or Bulimia.
A woman being upset is not a trap
Of course not. However, a conversation about “being fat”, with a person who suffers from an eating disorder is definitely a trap, as long as you are not a specialized therapist.
viewing relationships as adversarial is setting yourself up for failure
I view eating disorders as adversarial, not relationships. Please stop projecting your incorrect assumptions on me.
‘Just don’t think about it’ is a pretty terrible way to deal with eating disorders as well. Which this might not even be the case, as there are plenty of other things that manifest in a lack of appetite, not all of which are even mental illnesses.
Why are you ignoring the fact that OP said “She was underweight before because she hardly ate anything”? Seems like you are not arguing in good faith. I am done talking to you because you seem either naive, or even worse, pro-Anorexia/Bulimia.
You are inventing a reason for not eating anything when OP said nothing about that, and ignored me pointing out multiple things can cause people to lose appetite. Thanks for not subjecting me to any more of the same, at least!
By the way, people can tell you edited your comment to try to sneakily call me pro-anorexia after I made my comment.
I made up nothing. I simply quoted OP and everyone can see that. You on the other hand are clearly not arguing in good faith and I don´t have time for that. Blocked to prevent further animosities.
She was underweight before because she hardly ate anything. She’s way better now. But some people comment on her change of weight because they compare it to how she was before.
When she was under weight, just tell her she looks a lot healtier then she did and most importantly that you like her no matter what.
With humans it’s just like with other animals, you shouldn’t be able to see the ribs, you need to be able to feel them, just. (You can go hunt for them and tickle her to prove it ;) )
It´s a trap. She seems to suffer from an eating disorder, so if you directly respond to the statement, you can only lose. No matter what you say she will find a way to turn it around. Instead ignore the “I am fat” part and immediately steer away from the topic. Try something like:
I wish you both all the best!
‘Tell your gf to just ignore it and not talk about being upset to you’ is a great way to ruin a relationship. A woman being upset is not a trap, and viewing relationships as adversarial is setting yourself up for failure.
ETA: This guy can’t stop editing comments to try to make it look like he had less of a meltdown than he did.
You (and the others who downvoted my comment) are completely missing the main point here, which is that the gf is obviously showing behavioural patterns connected to a form of eating disorder, like Anorexia and/or Bulimia.
Of course not. However, a conversation about “being fat”, with a person who suffers from an eating disorder is definitely a trap, as long as you are not a specialized therapist.
I view eating disorders as adversarial, not relationships. Please stop projecting your incorrect assumptions on me.
I am on blahaj, I literally can’t downvote you.
‘Just don’t think about it’ is a pretty terrible way to deal with eating disorders as well. Which this might not even be the case, as there are plenty of other things that manifest in a lack of appetite, not all of which are even mental illnesses.
Why are you ignoring the fact that OP said “She was underweight before because she hardly ate anything”? Seems like you are not arguing in good faith. I am done talking to you because you seem either naive, or even worse, pro-Anorexia/Bulimia.
You are inventing a reason for not eating anything when OP said nothing about that, and ignored me pointing out multiple things can cause people to lose appetite. Thanks for not subjecting me to any more of the same, at least!
By the way, people can tell you edited your comment to try to sneakily call me pro-anorexia after I made my comment.
I made up nothing. I simply quoted OP and everyone can see that. You on the other hand are clearly not arguing in good faith and I don´t have time for that. Blocked to prevent further animosities.
Thank Christ 😂