No retraumitization here, just all too used to seeing people actually minimize male victim’s experience which I tend to push back against, so maybe I was a touch jumpy lol. All good!

I can agree with all that, I think it comes off as endorsement or defense when coupled with the words of the third parties above, if that was not your intention then my mistake.

It would seem you think that women should be presumed innocent and men presumed guilty based on the number of people in each respective demographic that have been convicted of sexual assault in a court of law, based upon this thread here.

You seem to think people being upset about things is inconsequential without it going through a peer review process, I’m just trying to gauge where your limit is for that.

I didn’t say “baby photos” I said “if your wife tells you she is upset about something do you ask her for peer reviewed studies on how that something could possibly psychologically effect someone negatively, or do you just believe she is feeling how she says she is feeling?”

Well it’s usually done to teen children’s teen partners ime, but ok fine I hope your adult childs adult partner asks for copies for later, the age of the person making the creepy comment is really not important but I think it’s worse if they’re adults so I’ll roll with it lol. Maybe she doesn’t know her husband’s proclivities, I’m not sure most pedos advertise it willingly, but he’s “tooootally not gonna spank it he just wants it for archival purposes” lol.

If your wife says “not tonight I have a headache” do you ask for evidence of hypertension? If she says something you did made her upset do you ask for evidence in a peer reviewed paper on why X could possibly be psychologically damaging? I’d bet the answer is “no I take her word at face value because it is her feelings after all.” But fuck the feelings of others? Would I have to begrudgingly have sex with you for you to take my word about my feelings?

Oh ok so only if I have a peer reviewed case, not if it actually affected me, how’d I know that’d be your lame excuse.

I hope you show a kid those pics and they ask for copies for later, then it’ll get weird for ya.

Ok, I was personally hurt by it happening to me. Now what’s your excuse?

My case isn’t an exception, it happens more frequently then you’d like to believe and is seldom reported to another human much less law enforcement because men get laughed out of police stations and made fun of by friends. All the worse if the woman is conventionally attractive. In many localities the legal definition of rape is even phrased as “requiring penetration,” meaning in many areas (most of the US and iirc all of the UK included, plus more) women can’t get charged with rape they can only get charged with “sexual assault” at worst. There are many resources for woman victims but not one for male victims, males are not welcome in the women’s groups. Most people you talk to about it just want to tell you some variation of “I pretend I care about male victims but here’s why women are more important than you.”

It happened years ago and I’ve learned to live with it now, I don’t need pity. I need people to stop invalidating male victims, pretending they don’t exist, pretending we don’t matter due to volume, etc, to help the ones it happens to now. Fuck me I’m fine now, but whatever dude it happens to today somewhere out there in the world could use some help.

Also traditions that, despite someone else’s claim, probably don’t cause any psychological harm, at least most of the time.

Actually you asked for nothing, you made a whole lot of assumptions instead. And

evidence that it hurts anyone

Here again you invalidate the feelings of those telling you with their own words that they don’t like it. The evidence they don’t like it is them telling you they don’t like it, you don’t need a scientific paper to corroborate that some people find it objectionable, you just dismiss them because you want to partake in the behavior they find objectionable.

I think you may be surprised and hopefully disturbed by this UNICEF article.

Despite a steady decline in this harmful practice over the past decade, child marriage remains widespread, with approximately one in five girls married in childhood across the globe. Today, multiple crises – including conflict, climate shocks and the ongoing fallout from COVID-19 – are threatening to reverse progress towards eliminating this human rights violation. The United Nations Sustainable Development Goals call for global action to end child marriage by 2030.

So no, it was not “a long time ago.” It’s “hopefully by 2030.”

Also traditions that, despite someone else’s claim, probably don’t cause any psychological harm, at least most of the time.

Oh, so as long as you don’t believe the person and can therefore invalidate their feelings without guilt, and it only psychologically hurts “some” people who you I suppose arbitrarily believe over the ones you don’t, it’s fine?

Not sure I can agree with you on this one.

As a male victim of TWO count 'em TWO sexual assaults perpetrated by TWO count em TWO different women, “fuck me, I don’t matter.”

You gonna bring up that I “obviously wanted it because I’m a man” next? Go ahead and block me for downvoting both that comment and yours, make my lemmy a better place.

Because the overwheling majority of sexual assault convictions are of men. It’s true.

OHHH because the women who sexually assaulted me didn’t get convicted in a court of law, because I didn’t report them, because nobody cares about male victims, we should use that to further invalidate the experiences of future male victims? My mistake, how silly of me.

Tbf child marriage is also traditional, Muhammed had a 9yo bride (it’s “ok,” he didn’t have sex with her until she was 11.)

Defending things based solely on tradition can get pretty weird sometimes.

Coulda went with murder trains or something less racist, really. Pretty fucked up dude.

Suuuree suuure which evil fascist dictator did it is really the point, ignore the “fascist” bit, that’s in the past, and ignore the “current” bit too because that would be admitting you have a problem and you can’t do that, you have to pretend you’re perfect, because you have nothing going for you other than white aryan Europeen “supremacy.”

You’re a reactionary, nationalistic, delusional, and seemingly racist person, seek help.

Whoops my bad, that was Mussolini, Italy is in the EU too though and so was Franco’s Spain. I hear they still have a problem with fascists too, weird trend developing here. Btw fucking wild you’d say “animal trains,” of course they also compared Jewish people to animals so I shouldn’t be surprised, I guess that’s why you’re brushing the whole current nazi problem aside.

And wait I thought we could only talk shit and pretend our countries are the best, which the US is and it’s perfect, there are no problems. (That’s you, that’s what you sound like.)

Hmm the Germans don’t keep the trains running on time anymore? Interesting, you’d think if they kept one thing from 1933-1945 it would have been that instead of the literal nazi police members they still have. Strange. Funny you guys also have one of the sex trafficking capitols of the world, Romania. Btw of how are the UK racists who insist that “they hate the ‘gypsies’ for their culture” which is exactly what the racists say over here about the “thugs” and their “rap music?”

Foh lmao, we both have problems and you’re just as delusional as the nationalistic dickheads I’m always bitching at over here, but you pick an area the size of one of our states to be nationalistic about which lets be real is fucking sad.

Oh I complain about the US a lot, as does everyone here on lemmy and everyone I know IRL, but europeens think they can feel superior for being little middle of the road countries the size of Michigan and forget we’re the size of the whole ass EU meaning that’s the correct comparison, which your “superiority” just doesn’t cover. Sure, NL may be fine, just try to be a black guy in the wrong berlin neighborhood though, I’ve heard some interesting stories about the “totally not nazi” police there. I also hear France is becoming Nazis, and sweden has a lot of gun crime and the occasional grenade attack, we don’t even have those in America lol, certainly sounds like we all have enough problems, but nope, you idiots have to pretend you’re better because deep down you know you’ll never be. Oh well.

A lot of them seem to be that way, likely terminally online ones of course.

You seem cool though!

Difference being nobody is going around claiming the US is perfect. You ever talk to a european? They have an inability to admit anything bad happens there, generally, and if it did it was merica’s fault of course.