This likely varies by industry, but I always advise instead of focusing on what your current role is giving you, examine what your next rung up the ladder looks like.
So for your case you have two “next rung up the ladder” jobs. The one from the new employer, and a promotion at your current employer. Which one offers you the most benefit not just in pay, but total comp (which you’re looking), but also career training and career advancement? What does your path for advancement look like at your current job? What would the total comp be for THAT job? Thats what you should be comparing the new employer against.
Management has been screwing us by making us work a ton of overtime because production is ramping back up. I’m supposed to go back to a regular 40 hr week “soon.”
How long ago did they say “soon”? Since you have the new employer offer in hand, ask for a meeting with your boss (don’t mention your new offer elsewhere) and ask the questions you want answers to:
- “I’ve heard ‘soon’ for X weeks/months. I’d like a more concrete answer to how long I should expect to keep working at this pace. What info can you give me boss?”
- “I’m interested in advancing. What objective measurable skills and/or milestones are you looking for that I need to hit to achieve a position for promotion?”
- “You’ve seen my performance for 5 months and how I’ve trained 3 new employees. What is the promotion path for this position, and with the many new bodies we’re hiring, how does that affect my path for advancement? I understand its not going to be tomorrow, but when does this company usually promote, and should I expect that same timeline for myself?”
This will tell you where you are at your current employer. Then compare that against the new employers offer.
I would also have more opportunities for advancement at this place and the work would be more engaging to me and likely more opportunities to improve my career as my current job is a major step back for me.
With this alone, it sounds like new employer is a better path. More money, more advancement, less forced overtime.
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I’m very confused. Your title suggests that you do not what her in your life after the bar/crying incident. Yet you keep letting her in your life when she reaches out, and now most recently YOU are the one reaching out to her.
I’m not going to assume you keep bringing her back in because she’s someone that has shown you affection and that validates you. Your words suggest you are not interested in a romantic relationship or friendship with her.
Do you want her in your life or not?