I just got out of a 10+ year relationship a couple months ago, rather suddenly and not of my own volition.
How weird, I’m going through the same exact thing as you. In my case I do have a circle of independent friends, but I’ve had trouble going from “friends” to “close friends”. Honestly what I discovered was, that was my own doing. It’s really easy to keep things on the surface with people, and not tell them what you are really struggling with.
Over the past few months I made a commitment to start being more open with my friends, and it’s really opened my eyes to 1) how wonderful they are as people, and 2) how much people are willing to open up to you once you show them that you’re willing to be a “trusted person”.
Anyway this isn’t what you asked, the way I met them was always through hobbies (music, martial arts), or friends of friends. I know you mentioned money is tight, so a hiking group or book club might be examples. You already know this, but IRL always beats online, atleast for me. Something about seeing other humans nourishes the soul in a way I can’t quite understand.
If you don’t want to attempt cleaning it, you could just bury them outside?
Edit: Everyone didn’t like that.
Keep it on your shelf forever Wrap it in layers of newspaper and toss it out Just clean it. It’s glass. Use an ultrasonic