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Joined 11 months ago
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Cake day: August 2nd, 2023

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  • Probably an attachment style test. Attachment theory is empirically valid, and knowing your attachment style can help you understand relationship patterns: communication, behaviors, emotional needs, etc.

    After that, the love languages are a good start to a conversation. Essentially they can help you figure out how you prefer to be cared for, and how you tend to show that you care. The categories themselves are arbitrary, and they’re based on observations by a baptist minister who offered relationship counseling. He’s not a licensed mental health professional, and the love languages aren’t empirically based. One issue I have with his book is that he claims that men tend to have “physical touch” as their love language, and that women should have more sex with their husbands to help them feel loved.

    The Big Five personality traits are the most valid of the popular personality tests, but I didn’t feel like they helped me understand myself more.