I’ve heard this sentiment that it is immoral a lot on the internet, and I would like to hear more about it. It feels intuitively correct to me, but I would like to hear the reasoning behind it.
Examples to further the title's meaning
- Calling someone ‘queer’ to mean they are weird, but not in a way intended as disparaging to those who are LGBT(Q+).
Not Examples
- Calling someone ‘queer’ to mean they are within the group known as LGBT(Q+). (or in any other neutral/positive tone)
- Calling someone ‘queer’ to mean they are weird, in a way intended to attack and/or disparage the LGBT(Q+) community.
- Calling someone ‘queer’ to mean they are weird, and you say you do not intend it negatively towards the LGBT(Q+) community, but you secretly do mean it negatively. (This is not intended as referring to anyone in particular /srs)
Discussion questions:
- How does this factor into meanings of words fading away?
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- Does it still pack the same “punch” after it no longer is commonly used as a pejorative?
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- If not, at what point is it generally considered okay to use?
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- How does this differ/compare with reclamation?
Some potential reasoning that I've thought of on my own, feel free to discuss.
- Bad actors can piggyback off of the use as a negative to help condemn the original target group.
- It may directly harm the group, by them (also knowing the original context) coming into contact with it and causing/enabling self-hate.
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- This may apply irregardless of if they know it was intended as non-disparaging to them or not, but this is just speculation based off of my similar experiences.
I apologize for any personal bias within this comment, I tried my best to limit it but I am fallible.
Though I would like a discussion in the comments, please refrain from insults and inflammatory statements towards your fellow lemmings, despite the hot topic. /srs
I think it’s a lot different with a word like “queer” that has a preëxisting use case that never completely went away.
Compare with people who still say “that’s retarded”. Now, they are probably not thinking about anyone with an actual mental diagnosis when they say that. But it clearly came into use as a broadening or misapplication of a term referring to a specific group.
Now, I would say that it’s ableist, and a slur. But I know others disagree. Before continuing, may I ask if this is the kind of usage you’re asking about?
Yes, it is. I actually was originally planning to use that word, but I (oblivious to the history of the word Queer) deliberately chose a different one as I knew some people dislike the term.
Should I edit the post to change the word used?
This is closely related to the hyperstitious slur cascade:
https://www.astralcodexten.com/p/give-up-seventy-percent-of-the-way
On the internet, not in person? Probably never. Too hard to figure out your tone.
In person? Just depends on your audience I’d guess, my actual gay friends don’t mind being called gay, or queer, or jokes about meaner words when they are meant in a gentle and friendly way, they know me and I know them so we know how to communicate. I don’t find the words useful in other contexts, really only use them to describe a person’s sexuality.
With regard to things not people? Some of the “slur” words still work. I regularly retard my sourdough bread by putting it in the fridge for a day or two, the dough is retarded, slowed down.