I, am trying to understand if I have habits. My definition of a habit is: “Something that you do often and regularly, sometimes without knowing that you are doing it” from the Harvard Dictionary
And It might look weird written here, but, I am not certain I have Habits. The most classic example is “Brush your teeth every night and morning”, but I don’t see myself naturally going to do it and most of the time I forget this and can’t seem to do it everytime a lot. So I can’t take that as an example of a Habit.
I eat everyday. But I don’t naturally go unconsciously eat every day. I forget every morning to eat, which makes me hungry at 12h, and at night I go est because I feel in my belly I need food, or because my Girlfriend is angry I didn’t eat yet very late because she asks me almost daily.
Hell I adore coffe, but in the morning I can just fully not think about doing a coffee. And I do take a coffee almost daily but because I think about all my pack of coffees that I putted behind my monitor with my grinder. It’s not a “natural thing I go do”? Because I can forget it if there is no joy stimuli for a coffee.
Ok last thing. I try to go swimming, but it’s because my girlfriend reminds me I really wanted to delete my belly, or because I think about my ideal me being more in shape and less tired everyday (which I’ve seen results on that part before stopping for no reason 2 weeks). When I go to the swimming pool, I put my stuff in the same area of Lockers, not always the same but the same area because I won’t forget. And I then go put my towel near the exit of the pool to dry myself when getting out of the water. Are those two things habits, or are those things logical choices that make sense in the current situation and I am overthinking this?
This is the longest question ever, but yeah, what’s a Habit I think, I’ve been running the question in my head for a few weeks now
Yeah the locker/towel thing would be a habit especially if you don’t actively think about it.
You may not have a strong daily routine but all humans have habits and it’s precisely because you don’t actively think about them a lot that it’s can be hard to become cognizant of them.
They also include behavioral preferences such as scratching your chin with your right hand when lost in thought 🤔, calling your girlfriend ‘honey’ frequently, consuming certain foods/beverages more than others, separating the trash, opening up social Media on your smart phone when bored, or taking your jacket with you when you go outside.
Those are not the same for everyone but everyone has them useless maybe some severe medical condition is present.
Thank you so much for this response!!!
Not sure if you are per se, but this is a commonly felt sentiment in the neurodivergent community. Especially ADHD and Autistic peeps.
Yeah, that, might be the reason I I fell lost about what a Habit is. I’ve been ridding on the question of trying to understand myself better for the past few months. I stopped thinking about it for a while waiting for the moment I could go see a professional and get an official thing, because I was also scared that trying to look too much into it I don’t want to “take, or push back” certain traits of myself to enter in a certain “shape” of people. But recently a person told me I should try to use a calendar to work on and create habits and the question of habits has been turning around in my head
Ok well if you are neurodivergent, a couple things:
Autism self diagnosis is valid if you do your research. University of WA recently did a study that figured that out.
ADHD typically needs a diagnosis from a professional to be sure, but it’s not super hard to guess if you have it. Some symptoms of ADHD can be caused by other conditions (anxiety especially) so navigate that one with caution.
If you are neurodivergent, typically the answer is routines rather than habits. I find them much easier to implement. Just decide the task you want to make into a routine, decide the steps you want to do it in, and then decide to always do it that way, or at least until you want to optimize or tweak it. A simple routine I do is “keys, wallet, phone, ear buds” while tapping my pockets on the way out of the door.
Thank you for those words. I’m waiting to finally go back to my country and stay there long enough to have the time to see someone and get to know myself more definitely to just have that answer in my life
Good luck on your travels! The road to enlightenment is lifelong, not a race. I wish you the best!
My idea is something like showering, or locking your door/car. You can find yourself questioning it: did I wash my X? Did I lock my front door? You did it because it’s a “force of habit”.
Habits can be really hard. I really struggle with them as part of my ADHD. I could have written this post myself.
It might be worth considering an ADHD assessment. ADHD and autism commonly occur together
Thank you, I’m actually awaiting to go back to my country and have the time to see someone to finally get the answer, while I wait I’m left with questions I try to answer for myself
I do think the pool stuff would count as a habit. Do you have to make the decision to put your stuff in those locations? Or do you just do it, as if you’ve already made the decision?
I do think about the fact it makes sense to out it at the same place to find it easier, then from that I without thinking but it where it was last time
Interferes with your responsibilities
This is were habit stops and addiction starts.
There are good habits, so I don’t think this is a good definition.
