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Virus McVirusface.
The “Aaaaaaargh fuck that hurts” virus, causing the “That’s a lot of damage disease”. Deadly of course .
I choose “tulips.”
What’s better than roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ!
Easy. I name it “Sparta”. So every time when someone asks me what disease I have I can then say “Disease Sparta!”.
Glubalstuanusitis
This would be a lot funier if the question were the other way around and the response was just about him naming it.