My family immigrated to the UK from Poland when I was six. I’m 20 now, speak much better English than Polish and feel like this is my land/culture. However I have a Polish first and last name, Polish passport and “unique” accent everyone picks up on, so despite this I’m usually perceived as an outsider. It makes me really sad because I don’t “belong” in Poland anymore either. Everything seems so complicated especially as I’ve gotten older with having to get the right documentation for work and opening a bank account and etc also… Not even sure if I can vote in the next general election even though I feel like I should be able to?
I’ve had a few nasty instances of being told to go back to my own country, even had a conker thrown at my head while a boy yelled Polski at me in year 11, and tbh even just been seen as a novelty and being asked to say something in Polish has gotten really old. I guess I’m just wondering if I’ll ever truly fit in. For some context, I grew up in North England and now live in Wales
You might feel more comfortable in a larger city. In London every person you meet has a different accent, it’s amazing.
No ones truly anything, nationalism is a horrid thing and sorry people have treated you as they have, its more they’re own insecurity then anything to do with you.
Bigots don’t define labels - if you think you’re British you’re British enough for me.
I’m an immigrant as well (though the cultural differences between Canada and America are much less evident) and anyone who says I’m not Canadian can get fucking bent.
The racists and xenophobes will never accept you. There’s no fixing some people’s brains. The good thing is, especially as you get older and able to do various kinds of work, you don’t have to associate with those kinds of jerks very often. It’s your community, it’s your country, and they don’t get to be the gatekeepers of who counts as local, no matter how hard they try.
Perhaps recognize your truly cosmopolitan background as a citizen of the world ? Maybe fitting in nowhere is the beginning of fitting in everywhere ?
And grab that slur with both hands, flip it, and make it your own.
Knowing what a conker is makes you super British.
Yeah, I’m American and have no idea what a conker is unless it’s having a bad fur day.
Please explain
/Non-British
It’s the name/game given to chestnuts where you put a hole through the chestnut and pass some string through and tie it off.
The game is simple you try and break your opponents conker with yours. Taken turns.
The defender holds the string steady with his conker straight down
The attacker uses his conker to try and break the defenders using a sort of downwards flick.
Horse chestnuts, not chestnuts, chestnuts are soft and you eat them on bonfire night, horse chestnuts are hard and you can crack skulls with them.
I know the feeling. I’ve been in the USA for decades, almost my entire life, but as soon as I say anything, everyone can immediately hear that I’m not American. People who ask me about it are well-meaning and curious. I still don’t like it, but I try not to show it.
That well meaning curiosity is the America I know.
I was born in North Carolina, I speak with a textbook Piedmont white guy drawl. I’m as American as high fructose corn syrup, no question. Here’s some hell I’ve caught: Europeans struggle to cope when I describe myself as “German and a little Scottish.” To me, that’s my ethnic background, to a lot of Europeans I’ve argued with, it’s stolen valor. “You’re not personally from Germany, you aren’t German.” Then explain my genome. Or my surname.
I think us who live in the New World have a whole different understanding of diaspora.
Well, imagine you meet a guy travelling through the US. He’s wearing lederhosen, has a freaking feather in his hat, and speaks with a heavy German accent. You ask where he’s from, and he says he’s American/Italian, as his maternal grandfather was born in the US and his grandmother on his father’s side is Italian. However, this is his first time outside of Germany, and he speaks no Italian and hardly any English.
This is what Americans tend to look like to Europeans.
See what I mean? And I bet Herr Wernher von Bianchi would have way more interesting stories to tell than most genuine Germans.
Reminds me of Japanese drivers licenses, which don’t have a field for eye or hair color the way Western ones do. Not pertinent information in Japan where virtually everyone has black hair and brown eyes, it’s like having a field for tongue color. The answer for everyone is “What? Reddish pink I guess? Why?”
Now imagine you’re making a form for people to fill out about their background and personal history. Europeans apparently cannot imagine needing more than one line to answer the question “Where are you from?” because of how short and boring their own answers always are.
You seem like a decent thoughtful person, and I would rather have you as a fellow Brit than the knobheads that throw conkers at you.
Defining a person by their nationality is pretty stupid when you consider that we are all on the same rock hurtling through the unfathomable depths of space. My grandad always had to know where a person was from in order to put them into a specific box in his mind. I always found it utterly disgusting and just weird. I guess there will always be people like that, but it’s learned behaviour. Kids don’t care where someone is from until they are told it’s important by an idiot adult.
I’m waffling now, but it genuinely doesn’t matter where you are from. One of the few things that makes me proud to be British is the fact that we are a big melting pot of different cultures. We are enhanced by having British people with different heritages. I don’t know if you are planning on applying for British nationality, but I would be delighted if you did. I, and a huge majority of Brits would welcome you with open arms, while the bigots amongst us can fuck off and go and be miserable in their own nasty little corner.
I am born and raised in England to Indian parents so always had some internal tension. Sometimes, I don’t understand my patents culture and sometimes I don’t understand English culture. However, I’ve realised I am who I am, and can take the best bits from both. There are some bits I don’t like so I’m the better for being / having that mix. I married an Irish person who moved over several years ago. Irish used to be the “other” and were screwed over, but now are sometimes considered “white”, so just shows the target moves.
There has always been racism in British society and unfortunately I have felt it pick up since the Brexit vote and Trump’s election (I think it empowered them). However, it is from a small minority of people. In some areas it comes from ignorance, which I can kind of forgive. Others will always see us as outsiders with our foreign names (and my brown skin) no matter what we do. I just think, screw them. I mean, can they trace themselves back before the Normans, the Romans or the Vikings etc? Where do you draw the line exactly?!? England has always been a mix of people and culture so they’re the ones missing out. I’m happy driving my Korean car to a German store to buy ingredients for a Thai green curry. Oh, I’ll grab a French pastry for breakfast, Chilean wine for the weekend and well, you get the idea! Let’s make the most of this multicultural place and ideas, and who cares about bigots who you can guarantee, like a cheeky korma and Belgian beer…
Definitely relate to not quite fitting in with either culture! I’m grateful for the perspective my heritage has given me on national identity and how I view different customs as a whole, because I think it has made me more understanding of others. But I definitely feel most understood myself when with other people who are dual identity, no matter what those identities are - there are definitely common threads we all share, from trying to fit in and camouflage to the dissonance we feel when considering what it would be like to move back to our country of origin
I thinknif you’ve lived in Britain that long most people would think of you as British, especially if you have a reasonably British accent. Where I live in Scotland, most people are happy to accept anyone who actually wants to live in Scotland as Scottish!
Hut there’s always going to be racist idiots. I’ve been told I’m “not really British” just because I’m from Scotland (by someone who obviously doesn’t understand the difference between England and Britain. And I’ve seem the whitest, pure Anglo-Saxon English people being called “not really British” because they wanted to stay in the EU. So, try to ignore the idiots!
Before reading, know that my response is mostly off-topic.
As an American it always seemed strange to me the perception of someone as an outsider. I know other Americans do it too so it’s not like we are some special snowflake country, we have a lot of intolerance of course.
But idk, to me Americans have all sorts of accents, indian/asian, hispanic, african, australian, whatever. I never considered that someone who sounds different wouldn’t be the same as every other American.
Not sure if this train of thought is shared by other countries. I have heard that Japanese people will basically never consider anyone not native to Japan as anything other than foreign. That is a strange thought to me.
I guess I’m bad at being bigoted.
Maybe because they’re both island nations with an isolationist culture, but there are definitely parallels to be drawn between the treatment foreigners get in the UK and in Japan. Growing up, being Polish was the identity others assigned to me and how they identified me and the main way in which I was described, and people make a lot of assumptions about me based on it. I used to get asked if I was Jewish a lot growing up because I have pretty stereotypically Slavic features, for example, and one time a teacher described me as “sallow skinned” after seeing I have an ethnic name on the school register.
Australia is great at this. It has a crazy number of migrants, if I’m not mistaken 50% of people is either 1st Gen Australian or 0th Gen like OP and me.
Will you ever be yourself?
Will yourself ever be you ?
You’ll never be anything less than what you are, but that’s a strength. Just speaking two languages well already puts you at an advantage. The experiences you have of seeing the cultures in relation to each other also gives you an edge.
Sometimes it’s nice to be able to just blend in, but life is all about learning and gathering experiences and impressions, and you have a head start. It might not always be easy, but you’ll learn to appreciate it.
And as long as Poland is in the EU I’d much rather have a Polish passport than an English one.
I’m not sure if you’re able to pursue citizenship, if it’s something you’re after, but in terms of the “unique” accent- you don’t owe anybody an answer if they ask “where are you from?”
You can tell them you’re English. You can tell them you grew up in England, truthfully. You can tell them English is the only language you speak. You don’t owe anyone your backstory. If you’re feeling petty or vindictive you can lie and say you have a speech impediment. I know their intentions are likely good but by inquiring about your accent, they are othering you. It’s up to you how you’d like to respond.
You will be truly British once you register on feddit.ukIn seriousness, I like to think it’s a state of mind. If you find yourself generally aligning most with the more positive British attitudes, you’re British. Though living in Wales, you may end up feeling more Welsh eventually!
If you want to feel more connected, try getting involved with local festivities and traditions.
Explore the countryside with the Ramblers. Do some pub quizzes. Go to a folk festival.
The sorts of things that involve you with pleasant people.
