On Reddit there was a thread along the lines of “Millennials, what’s your retirement plans?” and the thread was locked with a message from a mod saying they had to shut the thread down because of all of the comments about suicide.
Quite frankly, I get it.
So much of it is just Boomers passing the buck with a “personal responsibility” trope that doesn’t pan out for anyone with even a modicum of misfortune. What are your real options?
Age 10: Be in the top of your class. All of you. Everyone needs to be in the top 10% or you’re not allowed to go to a good high school / college
Age 15: Have a job, but also dedicate all your time to studying, so you can save up to go to a good college. Also, don’t let your grades slip, even a little, because you all need to be in the top 10%.
Age 20: Don’t take on any college debt. But go to a good school. But also hold down a part time job. But studying is a full time job, so make sure you’re getting As in all your classes. But take challenging classes, because no employer wants to see a bunch of fluff on your resume. But also join lots of clubs so you don’t look boring. And make sure you find a partner, so you can start spitting out babies before you turn 30!
Age 25: Get an upwardly mobile job! Maybe even two jobs! And don’t you fucking dare live with your parents, you loser. Have a career and a partner and don’t forget your network is your networth, so make sure you do lots of socializing. But don’t get into debt! Just own a car and live in a nice apartment and go on lots of dates and earn lots of money and DON’T SPEND ANY OF IT WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!
Age 30: Did you invest your savings? Pull out! Pull out! The current investments are all scams! You should do this other thing that’s much more lucrative instead. Real estate is a scam, do stocks! Stocks are a scam, do crypto! Crypto’s a scam, start your own business! Businesses regularly fail, what were you thinking?! You’re a homeowner now, right? Because real estate is about to go up astronomically.
Age 35: Oh boy, hope you didn’t experience any amount of burnout, because this is the most critical point in your life for career growth. You’re already married and own a home and have at least six figures in the bank and own a car and have at least two kids by now, right? Because that’s what your employers are going to want to see before they give you a promotion.
Age 40: How’s it going, buddy? Ready for retirement yet?
Why would employers want you to have kids to have a promotion?
Because then you need the paycheck more, and are less likely to move.
Also you won’t go on parental leave if you’re done having kids.
People with dependents are more likely to put up with employers bullshit demands when its not just their own livelyhood on the line.
Buy a small plot of undeveloped land in a swamp -> buy a pot -> cook soup in the pot -> repeat step 3 until dead
Ambitious I know, but it’s important to have goals.
Don’t forget to bring some potatoes. Those things will grow without soil, I’m sure they’ll grow in a swamp, and they upgrade soup to stew. :)
I have enough money to buy a pot, but not enough for swampy land :(
Don’t forget the “I’m a millionaire and I was on my way to spend a billion dollars on my big business deal when I thought to take some time out from my 26 hour work days to tell you all that the reason other people can’t afford a good retirement plan is because they ALL suck. If you don’t beleive my claims of wealth and their suckyness, then its because you can’t handle reality” comments from a statistically improbable number of people.
Suicide is the last stop for the economic incel
Wouldn’t an economic incel be someone who lives on their parent’s dime and doesn’t really engage with the economy to any real degree? Someone who works, buys, but isn’t making a living wage isn’t an incel, they are being involuntarily screwed by society at large.
I’m sure there’s a word for a person that’s being penetrated against their will…
No
Maybe if Peter was paid a living wage, had rent that wasn’t price fixed, wasn’t at the mercy of artificial inflation, could afford to buy a home without an outrageous interest rate, a retirement age and pension that could support his retirement, and had all the economical advantages the boomers had… he wouldn’t be in a bar drinking himself into an early grave.
But, let’s blame Spider-Man.
had all the economical advantages the boomers had
Spiderman was born in the 50s. He absolutely got all the economic advantages the boomers had.
Ehhh, that’s kinda like Batman though. Peter Parker is eternally a teenager/young twenties, just like Bruce Wayne is always in his late twenties/ early thirties, except that one comic.
Bring back Old Bruce.
“Artificial” inflation?
Wait until this guy finds out the whole economy is artificial.
Maybe “engineered” inflation would explain it better
Sure let’s just give up because other people had it “easier”
I just don’t want to participate in a society that literally doesn’t care about it’s future or it’s children enough to actually help them.
It’s not giving up it’s just a refusal to add to the problem and fight against a community of individuals trying to take as much from everyone else as possible.
And unfortunately that means dying young, poor, and unable to help myself.
Is it giving up when it’s already hopeless?
I mean, he worked as a teacher, and an engineer, which is not exactly dead end.
Yeah the meme falls apart if you know comics, and understand that in most version, Peter Parker is a brilliant scientist/engineer on the same level as Tony Stark. Sometimes he even has a megacorp!
I’m in this picture and I don’t like it.
I just turned 35 a couple of days ago, and this is currently on my mind. I need to make some serious changes, 40 cannot be the same as ages 25 to present.
Like, not even talking financially (though that’d be nice) - I mean like finding people who aren’t family to hang out with once and a while, smoking less weed/other means of being clearer minded more often, broadening my horizons and participation in meatspace, that kind of thing.
Wait you guys have a 5 year plan?
I don’t, but commies always do
Not all of us
If you guys want safe investments. I’d recommend an S&P 500 fund like SPY or VOO. You can also get some SCHD, it’s a dividend ETF that tracks the Dow Jones US dividends 100.
More like Spooder-Man
So he becomes Deadpool?
No, he becomes Peter B. Parker.
spider man doesn’t age though
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I dont even have a 5 minute plan, I was planing on Armageddon, which does seem more and more likely, I might start up a end of the world shop full of bick nacks I find throughout the wasteland.
Feel free to cross-post to Mildly Infuriating for the spelling error.
