cross-posted from: https://programming.dev/post/14816537
I’m 43 years old but apparently I have a baby face, good hair for my age and everyone believes I’m in my mid 20s, even though I already have some gray hairs nobody seems to notice (so far).
I started the lie: first time I started my last job at a hospital immediately after my bachelor and told my new coworkers my real age (38 at the time) they started judging me: why are you not married, why don’t you have children, what have you done in the last 20 years.
The way these women asked was accusatory, like I’m a failure for being almost 40 and not having children or being single. At that moment I decided next time somebody at the workplace asks me for my age, to blatantly and shamelessly lie: I’m 25, leave me alone.
Since that bad experience I’ve worked at 2 other hospitals and my lie has always helped: patients and coworkers believe I’m 25 because as said I look like it, don’t pester me about children or marriage and while my current coworkers are gossips and need drama to live, they don’t push my buttons because I don’t give them any ammunition. It’s tolerable.
Note that I didn’t lie in my application and accounting and management at my workplace know very well my real age, but my coworkers and direct manager are oblivious to it: On my first day I just told them I’m 25 and they didn’t question it.
Now, I have the body of a 43 year old, meaning I don’t lift heavy patients like a 25 year old and sometimes I come home with back pain. I don’t know if I’d get better assignments if I’m sincere about my age (I’d like that, but is it realistic?). I just don’t want to get to 65 with a broken back. I don’t want drama either, just to work and go home.
I lie to protect myself.
If I need to change this, why and how?
Yea, but my question is why does this actually matter. How old your coworkers are is their private information that they can share with you if they wish. At my current company most of the more senior employees are millenials but we do have some Gen Xers that have faced open age discrimination at other jobs and, well, it doesn’t fucking matter as long as you can do the job. Women, especially, tend to get a lot of shit if they’re older and don’t have children or, God forbid, aren’t married - so I can absolutely understand why you’d want to dodge that judgment.
You aren’t entitled to any private information about your coworkers, and that’s a good thing. I am quite confused why this is important because it’s not relevant to the extremely limited relationship you’re forming as coworkers.
Because coworkers need to trust each other, especially in healthcare.
Literally no one has said differently.
It’s just ironic a random 25 year old would have the maturity to just decline to answer if they didn’t want to.
OP is 43 years old and can’t handle that, so instead they claim to be 20 years younger, which very few people are probably falling for.
Yea, okay, especially the sibling response has made me reconsider. Lying about your age seems feels a lot more cringey then just deflecting and refusing to answer.