First, queer folks are more likely to be kinky. Since they had to figure out what clicks for them at least once, they tend to do it on multiple aspects of their identities.
Secondly - and this one is more of a personal standpoint - I’d argue that kinks fall under the wider umbrella of queerness or GRSM (Gender Relational and Sexual Minorities which I find way better than an enumeration acronym).
I’d also advocate for including neurodivergences under the queer brand too for instance.
Also don’t forget the historic aspect – when queerness was viewed as sexually deviant and perverted, it was the kink community that stood by us. Just because we’ve evolved to be socially acceptable doesn’t mean we should leave everyone else behind
What kind of a “community” exists around kink? Or do you just mean the superset of communities like furries, and whatever else is out there? What’s the line between those and more problematic sex clubs?
I felt the same way initially, just because I hadn’t really been exposed to it prior, and had a lot of misgivings. I found Kat Blaque’s video on the subject quite helpful just in giving context – well worth a watch!
Before he didn’t kill himself, he infamously ran some sex clubs.
These would be well-known examples representing a subset of what I would consider to be “problematic” sex clubs.
I would not want to be a part of a pride celebration where clubs like those have representation.
Pride is about throwing bricks at cops and celebrating our suppressed diversity, not the kinds of sex clubs that politicians go to. Pride is about tearing down hierarchies and problematic power dynamics, not fetishizing them. Or, at least, that’s my understanding of pride having never been to any sort of pride event. I know the history with stonewall and all of that, and that’s my picture of pride and what it should be.
The kinds of sex clubs that politicians go to are the only kinds of sex clubs of which I am aware, so I’m skeptical of sex clubs being represented at pride.
I don’t know why it sticks in my head but I read an article many years ago written by a straight cis woman who kept on showing up to a gay male leather BDSM club and chatting up a storm. One night one of the guys there tells her off causing her to write an article about how they were anti-woman to her. And from there she derived a general principle that male homosexuals hated women.
It’s like dude, there is nothing for you there, it’s their space not your space, if you showed up to my D&D table each week commenting and not playing I might do the same eventually. Also you know it is BDSM you should expect people into that to not exactly be super polite at all times. It’s quite literally a kink around inflicting consensual pain on each other, not exactly a grandma’s quilting circle.
I think it sticks in my head because I felt like she was trying to provoke something, was successful at it, and now that she was hurt she must be right about her preconceived homophobia.
FetLife is a relatively respected kink social media platform. It’s not about hooking up (though that certainly happens, just like on any online platform - hell, I knew people that later married that met in EQ). From my limited experience there, it’s mostly about making everyone feel less ostracized. Of course, they have to have very explicit rules about consent, or that turns into a predator’s playground - but again, that’s true of any social media platform.
Thanks for the answer. Although, I still don’t really get it.
I’ve heard that the kink community has a rule that people shouldn’t expose their fetishes to non-consenting strangers. Why on pride parades then? Isn’t engaging in these sort of activities here kind of wrong, like how you can’t just go out nude or have sex in public?
This is my personal opinion and it might not reflect the wider community’s. I’m not even giving a straight answer, just some points to think about ^^
First and foremost Pride isn’t a singular event. Some are more celebratory and family friendly. But imho it’s original purpose is a protest and protests aren’t subject to the same rules as other places and times. e.g. you don’t tend to shout in the street everyday.
Secondly this rule as an absolute doesn’t make a lot of sense. Even without critiquing the wider society’s rules a choker isn’t the same as a full puppy outfit. (and tbf I don’t see the issue with pups, it’s just dress up ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)
Lastly, I personally find that view kinda rooted in puritanism. Why should it be shameful in the first place? It kinda has “don’t ask don’t tell” vibes.
Lastly, how do you precisely define what’s a kink and what’s not?
I recommended this to someone else in the thread too, but I found Kat Blaque’s video really helpful as an explanation, because if you’re not familiar with the subculture the reasoning can be quite confusing.
Imho there are two angles to this question:
I’d also advocate for including neurodivergences under the queer brand too for instance.
Also don’t forget the historic aspect – when queerness was viewed as sexually deviant and perverted, it was the kink community that stood by us. Just because we’ve evolved to be socially acceptable doesn’t mean we should leave everyone else behind
What kind of a “community” exists around kink? Or do you just mean the superset of communities like furries, and whatever else is out there? What’s the line between those and more problematic sex clubs?
I felt the same way initially, just because I hadn’t really been exposed to it prior, and had a lot of misgivings. I found Kat Blaque’s video on the subject quite helpful just in giving context – well worth a watch!
Define more problematic sex clubs
Jefferey Epstein didn’t kill himself.
Before he didn’t kill himself, he infamously ran some sex clubs.
These would be well-known examples representing a subset of what I would consider to be “problematic” sex clubs.
I would not want to be a part of a pride celebration where clubs like those have representation.
Pride is about throwing bricks at cops and celebrating our suppressed diversity, not the kinds of sex clubs that politicians go to. Pride is about tearing down hierarchies and problematic power dynamics, not fetishizing them. Or, at least, that’s my understanding of pride having never been to any sort of pride event. I know the history with stonewall and all of that, and that’s my picture of pride and what it should be.
The kinds of sex clubs that politicians go to are the only kinds of sex clubs of which I am aware, so I’m skeptical of sex clubs being represented at pride.
I don’t know why it sticks in my head but I read an article many years ago written by a straight cis woman who kept on showing up to a gay male leather BDSM club and chatting up a storm. One night one of the guys there tells her off causing her to write an article about how they were anti-woman to her. And from there she derived a general principle that male homosexuals hated women.
It’s like dude, there is nothing for you there, it’s their space not your space, if you showed up to my D&D table each week commenting and not playing I might do the same eventually. Also you know it is BDSM you should expect people into that to not exactly be super polite at all times. It’s quite literally a kink around inflicting consensual pain on each other, not exactly a grandma’s quilting circle.
I think it sticks in my head because I felt like she was trying to provoke something, was successful at it, and now that she was hurt she must be right about her preconceived homophobia.
FetLife is a relatively respected kink social media platform. It’s not about hooking up (though that certainly happens, just like on any online platform - hell, I knew people that later married that met in EQ). From my limited experience there, it’s mostly about making everyone feel less ostracized. Of course, they have to have very explicit rules about consent, or that turns into a predator’s playground - but again, that’s true of any social media platform.
Think you should ask them first, but no one ever asks the autistic anything
I asked myself and then said yes. :p
Thanks for the answer. Although, I still don’t really get it.
I’ve heard that the kink community has a rule that people shouldn’t expose their fetishes to non-consenting strangers. Why on pride parades then? Isn’t engaging in these sort of activities here kind of wrong, like how you can’t just go out nude or have sex in public?
This is my personal opinion and it might not reflect the wider community’s. I’m not even giving a straight answer, just some points to think about ^^
First and foremost Pride isn’t a singular event. Some are more celebratory and family friendly. But imho it’s original purpose is a protest and protests aren’t subject to the same rules as other places and times. e.g. you don’t tend to shout in the street everyday.
Secondly this rule as an absolute doesn’t make a lot of sense. Even without critiquing the wider society’s rules a choker isn’t the same as a full puppy outfit. (and tbf I don’t see the issue with pups, it’s just dress up ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)
Lastly, I personally find that view kinda rooted in puritanism. Why should it be shameful in the first place? It kinda has “don’t ask don’t tell” vibes.
Lastly, how do you precisely define what’s a kink and what’s not?
I recommended this to someone else in the thread too, but I found Kat Blaque’s video really helpful as an explanation, because if you’re not familiar with the subculture the reasoning can be quite confusing.