- cross-posted to:
- me_irl@lemmy.world
- cross-posted to:
- me_irl@lemmy.world
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how to be more social: learn how to pretend to enjoy pointless small talk and conversations around topics you couldn’t give less of a flying fuck about
/savedyouaclick
Did you see that ludicrous display last night?
What’s Wenger thinking sending Walcott on that early?
The thing about Arsenal is they always try to walk it in…
i did! and i’m excited to talk about it, hopefully for the next hour or two!
How about that local generic sports team? They sure did good and/or bad.
i SOOOO fucking care about that shit!!!
Are you enduring a slight difficulty but have compassionately reframed and developed a healthy plan to address it?
Need to rewatch this so bad 😭
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I just say fair enough over and over until they stop talking, people want to feel like they’re in the right and being heard, feed that need and they will end the weird conversation.
And you have to throw in “I told you that bitch crazy!”
How to be comfortable with silence so you don’t make others uncomfortable with noise.
Sometimes I have to tell one of my friends who has ADD that the lack of breaks in talking pushes my anxiety to the edge. I swear he doesn’t breathe sometimes lol
Way to stand up for yourself in a compassionate way that helps maintain the relationship!
I still feel guilty because then they feel annoying. self-awareness can be uncomfortable, but ultimately good
WAIT - Why am I talking?
For the people who can’t shut up during meetings when they don’t have anything useful to add.
There is a very good book on exactly this topic. “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” by Susan Cain
I wish it were mandatory for anyone in a managerial position to read this.
They say, “don’t judge a book by its cover!” yet I’m compelled to tell myself, I’m enthralled over the Title, not the cover.
The introverted extroverted propaganda is a scam, people are complex and aren’t one way all the time.
It’s not about being one way all the time, it’s about how people recharge.
Nobody recharges by being around groups of people all the time though. Everyone needs a break, even from family and close friends.
Anecdotally, I’m “extroverted” but it still takes energy to interact with people.
I originally upvoted dark whatever instead of you. Coming back 2hr later I changed my votes because (metaphorically) as you said, it’s not black or white, it’s shades of gray.
In my youth I often thought of myself as an introvert, because, “I just don’t like people.” As I’ve grown I’ve come to realize that I’m perfectly sociable in the right crowd.
To that end, I’ve come to see myself as an introverted extrovert, it vice versa, because idk proper terms. But I’m much more talkative (for better or worse) around people I identify with, whereas if I were alone around a group of new people, I shut down and retreat to my safe corner.
People are very multifaceted individually and it’s such a strange oxymoron that “there is no true ideal” is an objective fact, no matter how much we wish it to be so.
Unfortunately, until people can (on whole) see both positives and negatives per individual person/situation, and not just the dogma attached to each piece, we may never overcome this roadblock…
Both introverts and extroverts are valuable in their own ways. They both bring unique qualities.
Unfortunately, many societies tend to prefer extroverts because they tend to be more social, likeable, relatable and understandable.
Introverts can be seen as weird and anti-social.
That being said, you should be able to embody all qualities in a balanced way.
Simple breath meditation should be taught in public achools from an early age. It is a useful and valuable human skill that could serve anyone who practices it.
Instead we have rote religion and caffeine to enervate for eventual corporate productivity.
Society rewards the enervated but depends upon the socially reticent thinkers.
I believe they just described meditation? It’s a practice where you quietly reflect by yourself. It’s not big yet or anything. There might be an app about it. Idk. Hopefully it catches on.
Well the shared article and the tweet are referring to social situations. But I like the thought of extroverts mediating at the party, dinner table or waiting room.
As an extrovert that is about to go to a wedding reception, I’m just going to start vibing out and meditating in the middle of the dance floor. (As opposed to trying to get everyone to take shots and come join the party like I usually do) I will report back with results.
My understanding of extroversion and introversion is that they’re primarily dictated by “what gives you energy” - in social situations, extroverts get energy, while in isolated situations introverts gain energy.
The article refers to introverts out of their environment, so it makes sense that tips about being better at introversion center around when extroverts are out of their environment, i.e. by themselves. Meditation for extroverts would 100% satisfy that.
I’m trying to imagine a social situation where everybody is being quiet and reflective instead of talking and responding like the tweet is suggesting. My mind just keeps manifesting a prayer circle or something. 😅
Or somebody telling a story, and it going like:
“And it turned out it was a freaking SHARK!”
“…Hm…”
“Uh… Is something wrong?”
“No, I’m just… Thinking about it…”
“😦 All right.”
Because extroverts can’t be quiet and reflect. Dumb.
“You’re awfully loud over there. You haven’t tried to just let the world be all night.”
That’s not how society works. Even though it would be a better world.
