In 2016, Steven van de Velde pleaded guilty to three counts of raping a 12-year British schoolgirl. On Sunday, the registered sex offender was knocked out of the Paris Olympics.
I’m on the fence on that. He raped a minor which is not excusable, he possibly ruined her life. How can a person like that be redeemed? Or does he not deserve redemption? He was 19. When I was 19, I was an irresponsible child. There is no proof that he is a pedophile.
Not entirely sure where you’re going with this. He’s not an irredeemable asshole because he might be a pedophile, he’s an irredeemable asshole because he raped a child and that’s indisputable.
Repeatedly telling people he’s not technically a pedophile is really not in any way helpful. He raped a 12-year-old multiple times. Who is it hurting to call him a pedophile?
Why do you need to call him something if it’s inaccurate? Just call him a child rapist and be done with it. Words have meanings and there is no reason to use them incorrectly.
As for who it’s hurting: everyone. Pedophila literally has nothing to do with rape. It is a disorder. It’s estimated it effects as much as 3% of the population. The vast majority of those people have never done anything wrong. They were simply born that way. The more people conflate the medical term with crimes the less likely pedophiles are going to seek help or treatment. Nobody wants to risk being outed as part of the most hated group of people on the planet.
If you want to actually help children instead of being angry the best course of action is to destigmatize the disorder so people can get counseling without fear of ruining their lives. Forcing people to bottle up their feelings/urges/etc. does not lead to good outcomes.
Do you think maybe medical terms and terms that the general public use aren’t always the same? Like you know when someone says “I broke my toe” and they just fractured it, people are fine with them saying that even though it wouldn’t medically be considered broken, yes?
Similarly, if someone says “I’m feeling depressed today,” do you think most people assume they have clinical depression? I sure wouldn’t.
And sorry, you are not going to destigmatize pedophilia by doing an “umm… actually” every time a child rapist is called a pedophile.
Hi, friend. I’m sure you have well-meaning intentions by making this comment. As someone who was a survivor of a similar situation such as this, and who also grew into a 19 year old, I can tell you that from a non-clinical perspective, if you are attracted to a child of early puberty age as a 19 year old adult, I don’t think making this assumption is too far off the table.
I’m sick and tired of coming on here and listening to this discourse about this volleyball player. Thank you for your two sides to every story, attempt at nuance and empathy for a rapist here. As a survivor of CSA, this has never been granted to me or anyone else I know of that has survived something like this. We need a different reaction to people who do these acts to innocent children.
Dunno about you, but when I was 19 the thought of raping a child never crossed my mind. He’s spent less than a year in prison, and hasn’t repented for what he did. Redemption has to at the very least come with an understanding that what he did was wrong.
I was stupid at 19 too, but for me that meant letting my at-the-time boyfriend finish inside even though I didn’t know him nearly well enough. Turned out he was slutting out it with randos and never got tested before our relationship. That’s around the stupid I expect at 19.
Rape is a bit fucking beyond that, don’t you think?
I’m on the fence on that. He raped a minor which is not excusable, he possibly ruined her life. How can a person like that be redeemed? Or does he not deserve redemption? He was 19. When I was 19, I was an irresponsible child. There is no proof that he is a pedophile.
Not entirely sure where you’re going with this. He’s not an irredeemable asshole because he might be a pedophile, he’s an irredeemable asshole because he raped a child and that’s indisputable.
Are you stupid?
If you go by medical definition, that would be hebephilia. Pedophilia is only used with children younger than 11.
The reason in this case could also have been because she was an easy target, the age must not necessarily be the reason.
Repeatedly telling people he’s not technically a pedophile is really not in any way helpful. He raped a 12-year-old multiple times. Who is it hurting to call him a pedophile?
Why do you need to call him something if it’s inaccurate? Just call him a child rapist and be done with it. Words have meanings and there is no reason to use them incorrectly.
As for who it’s hurting: everyone. Pedophila literally has nothing to do with rape. It is a disorder. It’s estimated it effects as much as 3% of the population. The vast majority of those people have never done anything wrong. They were simply born that way. The more people conflate the medical term with crimes the less likely pedophiles are going to seek help or treatment. Nobody wants to risk being outed as part of the most hated group of people on the planet.
If you want to actually help children instead of being angry the best course of action is to destigmatize the disorder so people can get counseling without fear of ruining their lives. Forcing people to bottle up their feelings/urges/etc. does not lead to good outcomes.
Do you think maybe medical terms and terms that the general public use aren’t always the same? Like you know when someone says “I broke my toe” and they just fractured it, people are fine with them saying that even though it wouldn’t medically be considered broken, yes?
Similarly, if someone says “I’m feeling depressed today,” do you think most people assume they have clinical depression? I sure wouldn’t.
And sorry, you are not going to destigmatize pedophilia by doing an “umm… actually” every time a child rapist is called a pedophile.
Only because people like you refuse to change. That’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
People like me? Refuse to change? I didn’t call him a pedophile.
I’m saying read the room.
The majority of child molesters are not pedophiles. It is more about power dynamics / them being an easy target.
Did you know most child rapists don’t fit pedophilia diagnostic critia?
Edit: I read an article on him and he has a 2 year old son. I really hope he isn’t a pedophile.
Hi, friend. I’m sure you have well-meaning intentions by making this comment. As someone who was a survivor of a similar situation such as this, and who also grew into a 19 year old, I can tell you that from a non-clinical perspective, if you are attracted to a child of early puberty age as a 19 year old adult, I don’t think making this assumption is too far off the table. I’m sick and tired of coming on here and listening to this discourse about this volleyball player. Thank you for your two sides to every story, attempt at nuance and empathy for a rapist here. As a survivor of CSA, this has never been granted to me or anyone else I know of that has survived something like this. We need a different reaction to people who do these acts to innocent children.
No. People who don’t even bother offering anything in the way of apology for their atrocities do not deserve redemption.
Dunno about you, but when I was 19 the thought of raping a child never crossed my mind. He’s spent less than a year in prison, and hasn’t repented for what he did. Redemption has to at the very least come with an understanding that what he did was wrong.
I bet “raping a child” did neither cross his mind, when he did it.
There’s a pretty obvious difference between a kid who’s 12, and someone you could reasonably mistake for being an adult (UK age of consent is 16).
He groomed the child for YEARS before he raped her. It’s wild you’re defending this
Didn’t know that
Sorry I could be wrong, can’t find the article that said the girl was 10 when they met online
He’s spent more than a year in prison.
Also, we can’t take his words for gospel, but atleast he acts as if he’s repented:
“I can’t reverse it, so I have to carry the consequences. It’s the biggest mistake of my life.”
Yes, a whole 13 months. What a punishment for raping a 12-year-old girl over and over.
And that isn’t repenting. Repenting includes an apology for what he did.
He did it multiple times? 🤢
Sadly, yes. I read about what he did and I’m sorry I read about it.
You are a disgusting piece of shit.
I was stupid at 19 too, but for me that meant letting my at-the-time boyfriend finish inside even though I didn’t know him nearly well enough. Turned out he was slutting out it with randos and never got tested before our relationship. That’s around the stupid I expect at 19.
Rape is a bit fucking beyond that, don’t you think?