• BOMBS@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    The amount of messed-up that would be in this “prank” would be so…messed up.

    1. The girl seems like she was excited and happy over the proposal, which would later turn out to be disappointment, anger, and sadness when she finds out it was fake.

    2. She would be embarrassed that he doesn’t want to marry her but she really wanted to. There’s nothing wrong with one partner being ready and the other not, but having that displayed as a mockery is embarrassing.

    3. She didn’t recognize that it was his twin brother, which is troubling. Even if she was unaware that he had a twin, I would expect her to pick up on some flags that it wasn’t her partner: 1) different mannerisms, 2) very limited knowledge of shared experiences and her particular tastes, 3) no jointly understood scripts for showing affection, and more.

    4. When she is legitimately proposed to, she will have at least some considerable doubt that it’s real and prevent her from engaging safely and freely, thus damaging the real proposal.

    5. She will now have to decide if she’s okay with marrying into a family that pulls “pranks” like that. Also, considering that her partner’s brother was fine with doing that, she may wonder if she is missing some serious flags with her partner.

    Note: Please excuse me if I’m being too judgemental, picky, or similar. I found my cat of 3 years dead today, so I’m definitely more vulnerable and emotional.

      • BOMBS@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Thank you. He was such a sweet being. The world feels less loving without him 😢

    • Chickenstalker@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      The bended knee schitck should go away. Marriage should be approached the same way companies approach mergers: via sober meetings and lawyers. Both sides should understand that marriage is more than romance and sex, but an economic and social union too. As with any mergers, a lot of money will be involved, so there is no space for surprises.

      • bitsplease@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        At least for my wife and I, the practical conversations all came before, by the time I proposed, we were already both in agreement about how we would handle finances, kids, etc. The actually proposal absolutely should be romantic, because it’s not “I have suddenly decided we will marry, we’ll figure it out from here” it’s “I’m now ready to take the big step in going from planning to spend our lives together, to actually committing to do it”

        There’s plenty of room for both romance and practicality, and having a romantic proposal certainly doesn’t exclude having practical sober conversations before hand

        • RQG@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Agreed. We did the same. We talked about that we wanted kids. We talked about finances. I told her if I ever had kids I wanted to be married. It makes custody and a lot of things simpler, finances easier and once you got kids you are bound together anyways. She agreed and said if and when we make it to that she would love got me to propose and all that.

          Then when we decided we were ready for kids after moving to a bigger apartment a few years later and all I proposed to her during a vacation. She didn’t expect it but it basically was all as we talked about. I got 2 silver rings with our favourite gems in it and a sentence engraved that meant something to us on the inside and some other small fancy details. Luckily her favourite gem was amethysts as those are cheap. I even snuck out one of her favourite earrings to get a color match to that one. It was like 500 total in a custom ring shop where the local bikers gets their membership rings made. I was told and shown by the bikers once that the ring making lady was the best in town. They were right.

          My wife liked the engagement rings so much she wanted to keep them as wedding rings. So I guess I did well enough.

      • gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        1 year ago

        Bending the knee absolutely should stick around, there are many people (my wife included) who WANT that sort of gesture

        You should 100% have an idea of what they’ll say before you do it though. I knew my wife was going to say yes, it was merely picking the correct time and place (which I did, and as far as I know, am the only one to do so)

        Anyone who springs it on their partner without at least some attempts at subtly discussing marriage is an idiot who deserves if it blows up in their face

      • GoodWithThumbs@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        After doing all that, I’m pretty sure my wife just put it on the calendar, and I showed up like I always do. Who says romance is dead?

      • BOMBS@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Thank you. It’s been a rough time, but we’re getting through it slowly.

    • ipkpjersi@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      Honestly I agree 100%. I feel like there are some things that shouldn’t be joked about, and to actually go through with a pretend proposal like that is fucked up beyond words.

      Sorry about your cat. :(

      • BOMBS@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Yeah, definitely! Proposals are expected to be a once in a lifetime event, so I think it’s best to keep it sacred.

        And thank you :)

      • BOMBS@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Yeah, it’s terrible. The worst part though is that I’m sad he lost his life. It’s not that I wont have him, but that he can’t live anymore. He deserved so much better than that.

        Sorry for your loss too. To me, the thing with losing animals is that they’re so sincere. You know exactly what they like doing and how much they care about you, so when it’s gone, it’s clear what’s missing from the world.

    • IDontHavePantsOn@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      Too much on weddings…

      The USA government considers marriage a tax and law advantage. Thats all it is. A mutually agreed upon union to gain a capital advantage. Don’t blow your savings to play dress up and get your family drunk. Don’t throw a party for everyone.

      Marry the one you love for the $35 marriage license and be done with it. You still end up being married, with tax benefits. Yes you won’t have the memories of stressing yourself out just to go through with it, but you will still have your money, and a better chance at having a good life with your piece of shit spouse that only works to spend your remaining time and money driving you into the ground until you get the courage after 4 years to stand up and divorce them. Luckily for you, you saved a bunch of money to pay your lawyer.

      I’m tired. Good night everyone.

      • Maalus@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Boo freaking hoo. Name a more iconic duo - a scorned divorcee and being bitter. Let people do whatever they want to do - including lavish weddings.

        • IDontHavePantsOn@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          I’m not divorced. I just like writing satire surrounding my personal opinions. Also, I personally stop every wedding I can. I want my wife and I to be the only married couple on earth.

      • EmperorHenry@discuss.tchncs.de
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        1 year ago

        YES! Fucking Christ! Someone else shares my opinion on this issue! Weddings as they’re done in the US are so stupid and expensive! Wedding rings are also stupid.

        • IDontHavePantsOn@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          I’m all for the continued symbolism of marriage so rings are cool in my book. It’s still a serious commitment. The jewelery business however is a glittering turd with blood embroidery.

          I bought placeholder rings from Walmart for maybe $20 -$30.

          I upgraded to a much nicer $10 tungsten ring from Amazon.

          I upgraded my wife’s band and engagement ring to a handmade 14k Gold and moisanite combo from Etsy that was somehow cheaper than if I had made the rings myself. Must have some good connections, idk.

          Either way, do your marriage how you want. Symbolize it how you want. I just want 8% of your gross income afterwards. It’s only fair. I mean I just basically saved you twice that amount.

      • finestnothing@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        My wedding was my wife and I going to the courthouse on pi day, promising we weren’t related, signing the marriage document, then having a pizza pie for dinner and apple pie for dessert, total cost ~$85 (including $30 marriage license).

        A couple months later we went to Hawaii for a week and a half with both of our parents and my wifes best friend. Landed and spent a day puttering around since we were all tired, next day we had a ceremony on a gorgeous little beach (millionaires housing community beach, still public access like all beaches but hard to find and not much parking by design) officiated by my dad, had pictures taken by a photographer who also got the permit flowers etc, and spent the remaining 8 days honeymooning/vacationing. Our parents paid for the condo we stayed at as their wedding present ($1500 of $4500 would’ve been our share) and paid for most of the food while we were there. Total cost was $900 for a photographer (worth they were great and definitely worth it), $500 for plane tickets since we got them early and went in early May when the islands aren’t too busy, figure $300 in food and activities that we did without our parents . Wife’s dress was $600 including alterations.

        Total cost ended up being under $2500 paid over 6 months or so. We got married, had pictures, and a week and a half vacation and honeymoon in Hawaii for less than most people pay for a random venue for 8 hours in the off season.

        • IDontHavePantsOn@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          I just looked it up and it was actually $40. All in all mine cost around $80 including a couple cheap rings from Walmart and gas.

          Now that I’m thinking about it, I hope we paid the notary since she stayed after work in city hall. She was a sweet lady. Since my wife and I just wanted to be done with it, she asked if we had any words and when we both said no she asked if she could and said a few sweet things and started crying when we said “I do”.