Christians in 1st century: the world is ending very soon!
Muslims in 7th century: the world is ending very soon!
Mormons in 19th century: the world is ending very soon!Given enough apocalyptic religions one of them would be right, but I think that religion doesn’t exist yet.
Mine says the world has already ended, does that count?
The classical options are that the world will end in the future, is currently ending, or ended in the past. Today, I’m here to tell you that there is another option: the world never even existed. Poof!
Christians in the 1st century? So people that followed Paul after he wrote the earliest texts around 50-60AD?
Not all early Christians followed Paul. The church in Jerusalem under James was at odds with Paul on a number of subjects. There were also more radical groups outside Jerusalem that combined Christianity with Greek philosophy, having women preaching and leading congregations, and incorporating various mystical beliefs that didn’t originate in Judaism or the teachings of Jesus.
Matthew 16:28 - “Truly I tell you, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.”
Jesus himself said that his own followers would be alive to see the end of the world. Hence the medieval legend of The Wandering Jew.
The mayan one in 2012 was the best one so far. There was some real hype about it, movies, media, news, everyone was on it.
In the end it turned out that it was the day Gangnam Style became the first youtube video reaching 1 billion views. Some would say it really was the apocalypse.
As always, Wikipedia is a good resource here:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_dates_predicted_for_apocalyptic_events
Incomplete, obviously.
The Muslims have never had a big, convoluted End Times mythos like the Christians, at least not in the Qur’an. At some point in the indefinite future, there will be Judgement Day, and everybody living or dead will get hauled in front of Allah and the recording angel will play back your scorecard. Then it’s Jinnah (heaven) or Jehenna (hell).
There are quite a number of hadiths (extra-scriptural reports of things Muhammad said or did) that talk about the end times. Hadiths are assessed by Islamic scholars based on their provenance and general credibility. Those originating from people close to the Prophet are ranked higher; those that contradict the Qur’an are downgraded. Most of the non-Qur’anic end times narratives sound very similar to Christian eschatology, except that the Mahdi, the successor prophet to Muhammad, appears. Jesus (Issa) returns (and maybe he’s the same guy as the Mahdi?), there’s the Antichrist (the Dajjal) stirring up mischief, there are signs and portents, the giants Gog and Magog running amok, the stars fall from the sky as meteors, etc, etc.
It’s not as entertaining as Ragnarök, but it’s more coherent than the Christian fundies’ fanfic.
American Evangelicals: THE RAPTURE IS COMING AND THE TRIBULATION IS NIGH!
Jehovah’s witnesses: THEY ARE COMING FOR US, THEY’RE COMING FOR US BECAUSE WE’RE WITNESSES!
Mormons: WE’RE GONNA NEED THE FOOD STORES WE WERE TOLD TO MAKE, JUST YOU WAIT!
Scientists: Climate Change will lead to everything going to shit if we don’t do shit now.
All of them together: BULLSHIT!
Scientists: Climate Change will lead to everything going to shit if we don’t change our gluttonous ways and become good stewards of Creation.
Supply Side Jesus: HERESY!
Noot noot! I love you Pingu.
I loved Pingu. Then they did the 2000s version with the guy who got the voice totally wrong and fuck that.
The late Carlo Bonomi was the original voice actor of Pingu.
And the poor guy in La Linea. Another old favorite of mine.
Yeah that was brilliant, had to look it up though. Then I recalled watching that at my grandparents house back in the 70s.
Thank you for bringing good memories back.
To be fair there are a lot of factions that accept Climate Change as a reality, they just think it’s a good thing because the end of the world means they go to Heaven and their enemies go to Taco Bell
Maybe it’s time to enact authoritarian measures against these people.
