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In fairness to the one dude, gold would have been super useful.
The incredibly expensive luxury perfume ingredients aren’t exactly bad gifts either - should be able to convert them into ready cash at any market in the middle east.
They’re all very fungible assets, maybe even more than cash in those times. Except the drummer boy, but a song is probably all that poor kid had to give.
Maybe he transferred the copyright as well and Mary made bank on the streaming royalties.
Am I just crazy, or is the mary illustrated here kind of a bitch? The baby isn’t going to care if you get it a fucking onesie or a lasagna, because it definitely won’t understand anything going on for another year, minimum. If I bring a gift ‘for the baby’ that the parents will use, isn’t that just as good? Maybe gold, incense, and myrrh aren’t the best things to put in the crib, but I’m pretty sure it was some 14-year old hands that opened the gift wrap, and those 14 year old hands can sell the expensive gifts if they want to.
Here are some practical gift ideas for the newborn saviour of humanity:
Baby clothes
Crib
Diapers
Teddy bear
Rattle
Babysitting vouchers
Baby bjorn
Tea (for mum)
Mobile
Chocolate (for mum)
The Hobbit hardcoverI’m not sure how this immaculate conception works, but maybe also baby formula in case Mary wasn’t lactating since this was a… mysterious pregnancy.
Weird nitpick, and I only know this because it was a bar trivia question that I got wrong once: the Immaculate Conception actually refers to Mary’s conception, not Jesus’.
… I know right? Like what?
Oh my non pun intendedly God… I was raised Catholic. I don’t think a single person knows it.
I’m just getting church flashbacks to mentions of “virgin Mary, conceived without sin”, and never thought of it. But then she wasn’t a virgin at the time of Jesus birth?
Edit: OK, I’m reading more about it and think I understand now. So it’s 2 different things. Mary was born from sex. Sex is not what the “born without sin” is about, but about humanity inheriting Adam and Eve’s original sin. Jesus was born without sex, and Mary was indeed a virgin.
I can’t believe no one ever properly explained this part of the story in the 9 years of useless Sunday school.
I can’t believe no one ever properly explained this part of the story in the 9 years of useless Sunday school.
Eh, we’re talking about Christianity here… Is it really that hard to believe?
If she was able to have the labor portion, I’d assume everything else went according to normal pregnancy standards. So, yes, I guess 14-year old Mary was lactating?
If you just got done giving birth in a stable because some diety decided to knock you up without your consent then you’ve earned the right to be a bit of a bitch.
I mean, yes, fine, agreed. I’d love it if ‘god’ decided to pull a repeat but did it in a state that actually has healthcare. Hello, abortion-jesus!
He played his best for him.
…And it just wasn’t good enough.
I know you just gave birth and you’re exhausted, and everyone is trying to unwind now, but PATTTATA TATATATAP TAPTAPTATATATATA TATATAT BITCH
The Magi (of unknown number) who bring three listed gifts are in Matthew’s birth narrative, while the ahistorical census and “no room in the inn” are in Luke’s birth narrative.
They are basically completely separate stories.
In Matthew, Mary and Joseph live in Bethlehem.
Funnily enough, I wish I would get some useless luxury presents every once in a while. Ever since I became an independent adult - and much more so since I became a parent - gifts are mostly practical stuff that I actually want and need and am happy about saving the money on, or gift cards. But then I remember how my Dad used to get me some high end mascara that I hardly even had any use for because it was never waterproof or some way too expensive perfume that I could only wear to school basically, and I miss that a bit.
I mean I love that I got a purrrse this year, but it was also due to the fact that my old one broke and I needed a new one.
It was actually pretty awkward when the wise men wanted to stay over. Not very wise. https://youtube.com/shorts/tgXTGrwUblY
