I understand a fantasy and a one time thing like tipping on a guys night out at a strip club, but some of these guys think they are in a relationship with someone they will never meet and don’t even know their real name or life details.
I understand a fantasy and a one time thing like tipping on a guys night out at a strip club, but some of these guys think they are in a relationship with someone they will never meet and don’t even know their real name or life details.
Well, they may like the attention and validation it brings. I knew someone who was asexual that had a lot of dotcom money. He loved to go to Vegas and gamble. He knew the house was stacked against him. He knew that the girls who sat on his lap only liked him for his money. He still loved the attention he got when he tipped big. I saw him tip a waiter $200 on a $150 meal. He LOVED it. And why?
“I used to be poor. I was a nobody. Now I make people happy with my money, and I feel good about myself.”
Can’t beat that.
This is going to sound weird but I kinda get it.
I’m not rich at all. But I have a really high paying job. And I tip 25-40% because I used to work at restaurants and coffee shops if they are mildly pleasant. During the holidays, I easily drop 100% tips at like a small sandwich shop.
I’m definitely part of the problem with tipping. But it makes me feel good to give a small coffee worker $5 for their hard work.
You’re not at all part of the problem. The problem is entirely concentrated in the employers’ unwillingness to pay workers a living wage. It’s not like they’d start if you stopped tipping; they’d be legally required to backfill some of the shortfall, but not enough that the person could actually survive.
Rest assured. You are not a part of the problem.
As someone who has done tipped labor before: the bigger problem is the entitlement of the people who come to expect tips and negatively judge anyone who doesn’t.
I once got shat on for saying I reduce my typical tip of 25%+ down to 15% for waiters who were particularly bad at interactions, in a thread where a bunch of waiters were patting themselves on the back for forcing bad-but-fast interactions that allowed them to give the appearance of service.
Such as avoiding eye contact, ignoring gestures from a distance, and leaving a table fast to give them as little time as possible to put in follow-up requests, or waiting until someone’s mouth was full or with a glass up so they couldn’t elaborate, and some other stuff I don’t care to remember.
I was called “shitty” for “witholding tips”.
That’s so sad, you weren’t even doing a “No tip” just a “reduced tip.” Like, isn’t that how tipping is supposed to work?
I’ve faced it too, coworkers would tell me things like “we have a spray bottle with water so you can look like you’re sweating and working really hard and more likely to get tips.” Cool, because gaslighting people for money isn’t fraudulent or scammy at all??
The entitlement is crazy. I remember literally arguing “it’s not their responsibility to cover the gaps in our pay that our employer refuses to cover” and them acting like I was crazy to expect our employer to pay us a living wage when we could be raking in cash from tips.
Seriously, the tips were insane, but it wasn’t enough for these people. We could be getting enough in tips to be making $30+/hour each night, but apparently that’s not enough and entirely the responsibility of the people who come to our restaurant.
Yeah, I’m pretty convinced that the worst tipping culture comes from the people who act like not getting a tip is fucking blaspheme that should be punished by God himself.
Yeah, like I’ve always tipped the “standard” (15% here) as the minimum in the worst cases, my standard is 20-25% or more depending on the bill and time of service, et cetera; and they still had their panties in a wad over the idea that their brilliant shortcuts weren’t that brilliant and that someone might still see through them or at least appropriately judge their service over them, intentional or not.
edit: at the time it was 25% or more; I’ve only adjusted it slightly because I don’t make as much anymore, and even then it’s mainly when it’s a large bill, and I’m by myself, and either the service was just sub-par, or it was a very fast but expensive meal. Good eating is my vice.
Lots of jobs fully need a living wage and are for spare cash mainly. Your son delivering papers certainly doesn’t. I think we need to evaluate in that some.
“let’s continue to devalue labor because some margin cases might 😱 end up with disposable income derived from a more fair compensation for that value”
Oh no some kid might be doing pretty well for a month or so better grind everyone into poverty so boomers like @zippy have it fair
There are a great number of jobs that pay a living wage. Working on a convenience store or Walmart does not need to be one.
And a living wage does not mean you should be able to live alone with your own kitchen and bathroom without roommates. Something past generations certainly need to do. Those single member working families that were paid s high wages typically worked in a mine or a higher paid job. No one could work at the convenience store and support a family alone.
A living wage means exactly that boomer.
Not a boomer but not all jobs are valuable enough not do they need to be to be paid a living wage. Your 16yo babysitter doesn’t need to be paid a living wage while she lives at home. It is goofy how people think like this.
we literally had a bunch of underpaid minimum wage employees being pressured to work and take the risk on getting infected through the pandemic because they were essential to the fucking economy and logistics of our daily lives, yet we don’t want to recognize that as essential anymore because someone else has brainwashed you into it for no reason you’ve been able to elaborate. The 16-year-old needs to be compensated at the same rate as someone who does it for a living, proportional to the hours they work. It’s kinda wild how you’re angling to argue for underpaid child labor. This guy’s gotta be one dusty mf to think like that.
Boring lies
I do the same. It is one of the few things that really cheers me up sometimes.
I don’t necessarily do it with tips, because I don’t really know those people, but I have a similar situation. I make good money at work and am very lonely/isolated in my social life, so I don’t have a lot of places to spend my money. But around the holidays I like giving big expensive gifts to my family and the few other important people in my life. They always think it’s overboard in terms of what I spend but I just really like the feeling that my money is going to make someone happy since it doesn’t really do much for me. I make sure to remind them that I’m not keeping score and not expecting them to give me something of equal value. I just like the experience of gift-giving.
I would not feel good about myself in that situation but I guess I understand…
For me it’s a slightly disgusting to pay money to another human being for fake attention, it’s very superficial and animal-like. But I can see how it can make some guys happy.
Given how dumbed-down, animalistic, and impulsive sexual interactions can be, it makes a lot more sense in that state of mind.