Software piracy in terms of what would have been the longest sentence.

I almost cut a mechanics fingers off after he used an emergency stop as a LOTO. I would Probably not be guilty in the eyes of law or workplace safety rules but sure would have felt the worst if something bad happened.

When I was a toddler, and my parents took me shopping, as soon as I got anywhere near the part of the store/shop that had bread, I’d always end up quickly stealing a baguette, opening it, and start eating it. By the time my parents paid for everything the baguette was nearly non existent. Of course my parents paid for the baguette in the end, but I’m pretty sure it’s against the rules to steal and eat one and then force your parents to pay for it. Little old toddler me didn’t care about the rules!

I still absolutely love baguettes.

Get stabbed, stab back.

The worst thing I’ve done is warn people not to admit to their crimes on a public internet forum.

Wtf guys stop admitting to shit.

I described an NFL game without the express written consent of NFL productions

I’d like to remind everyone that the fediverse is public and anyone or any group can be listening in.

double checks statutes of limitations

Probably smoking weed or destruction of property.

I used to run a socialist news letter in HS. My distribution was like… one to my friend group, one to a cool teacher, and one to someone I had a crush on. Clearly it had higher readership than NYT.

In my workplace I’ve got ridiculous seniority so I try and revoice concerns from more junior people. I’d be pretty okay with getting a nice big severance payout so why the fuck not. I also try to be a voice of reason when it comes to AI hype.

“exists”

I break rules all the time in the Amerikkkas! Just by existing

Aside from the usual ones (jaywalking in particular wouldn’t be atypical), I technically broke every rule in school at least once (all except two exactly once). I say “technically” because the rule-enforcement format at my school tempted classmates to snitch on each other for the smallest things. Like, did I walk into class two seconds after the bell? Did I laugh too loudly at something a classmate did that wasn’t supposed to get ridicule? Did I wear the wrong socks for my uniform (and yes it was the same uniform as you)? Anything like these would get you in trouble.

It was rumored that the moment I broke a rule more than once, I would face something more serious, like mandatory appointments or something. There were only two I broke twice. One of them was because, on one April Fool’s Day, everyone wanted to pull one of those cheesy end-of-the-year-style pranks where everyone shows up in the uniform of another school, but people didn’t get the memo on what uniform it was going to be, so when everyone came in that day, it looked like comic-con, and I went with a friend’s (who went to another school with another uniform). The teachers just shook their head about that. The other rule I broke twice was exam cheating; first time got me caught, second time allowed me to graduate (and I didn’t get caught for that, though I fear what would happen if it got out).

My most severe punishment from school and the only one I remember getting me an in-school suspension was when they asked me to help write the yearbook, and I got to the part where everyone played the “most likely to” game, and we had an entry put in as a form of dark humor (disclaimer, DON’T do this, I admit it currently but I would neither encourage it nor use the same humor today even though the same thing has happened before… also don’t harm innocent people). I was in the in-school suspension for a day where they add suspenders to your uniform as their own cheesy cruel joke (their chosen mark of someone being suspended). Because the protocol works based on punishment escalation, any rule after that would’ve gotten me removed from the school, so it’s a good thing they didn’t catch me cheating on that test.

A lot of jaywalking,

this is one i do not do. ever.

if i’m gonna get run over–and if i survive, i’m not working again. ever… not have it be ‘my fault’ and not get a dime.

Definitely not thousands worth of content if the DVDs I’ve been seeing if certain series are to be used as a judge point, but definitely a lot of digital piracy because I ain’t paying streaming prices for more than old late 2000s, early 2010s style netflix where I can get everything on one service for a real good price.

Also cannot say my piracy has done anywhere near 0.0000000000001% of the damage to the gaming industry that something like SBI or just triple AAA titles in general have self inflicted on themselves over the past few years.

I use a green laser pointer to sight my telescope…

I’m careful there’s no planes or anything but all the same.