My 14-year-old sister Lena has made a friend who is constantly picking on Lena for the slightest things, calling her weird, screaming at her in social situations and in athletics, saying she is useless, etc. [my sister has mobility issues and asthma as well]
Fortunately, Lena told me that she and another friend of hers stopped hanging out with the friend but the teachers still want her paired up with this girl? (No one else will hang out with Lena’s friend because her friend group is preppy and very cliquey)
The friend is also doing the classic “You can’t be friends with those girls and leave me, they don’t like you/understand you like I do. I’m the only one who will accept you.”
Yeah, I don’t really know how to help as I don’t go to her school and I’m obviously several years older than her
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She’s abusive, and may cause some lasting emotional damage.
So it’s not just my sensitive nature to think she’s more abusive than anything?
If this is accurate, “…who is constantly picking on Lena for the slightest things, calling her weird, screaming at her in social situations and in athletics, saying she is useless…” then no.
This is a good opportunity to explain to your fam that this is not okay, and what she should do to distance herself from this manipulative and abusive person.
It starts with her self esteem.
No you’ve already pointed out several glaring red flags, including trying to isolate your daughter, lying to her, etc. Her teacher should see that too but I guarantee her teacher doesn’t get paid enough to care.
She keeps saying everyone hates Lena because she acts weird too (vocal stims + tics) and that she will truly like her and that everyone else will hurt her.
I’d be really angry at her. Don’t care how old she is.
I was a patient kid in school, teachers would pair me up with difficult kids and expect me to fix them without ever telling me that was their strategy. My patience wore real thin.
If the teachers are pushing for this, telling them that she’s approaching a breaking point and that this is not sustainable might help. Or it might not, teachers are only human and who knows what is going on in their heads.
This is 100% time to involve administration.
I’m not sure if you’re in a guardian position, or if it would be the parents that need to do it for it to stick. Some schools will take reports seriously no matter who it is, others won’t.
The teachers need to step off and stop sticking her with them. From the given bullying and “I’m the only one who will accept you” type behavior, she sounds manipulative and her behavior will only get worse if the teachers force them together and she can isolate your sister. If this is the only reason they hang out, I would be telling the teachers to keep her away.
You need to go to the administration or call them and tell them that this is unacceptable behavior on her part, and on the teachers part to try and force them together. Also keep in mind that they might want to gloss over it and not create a problem and “kids will just be kids.” They should not be going out of their way to create an unsafe environment for her. If necessary, you may be able to file a formal complaint to then school district. If it comes down to it you might be able to sue the family for emotional distress, but id recommend starting with the the teachers first. Call the school and ask to speak with them I guess
Reading material about narcissistic behaviors and manipulations.
